IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will be no longer necessary because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, many
people
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 believe that historical objects or works of
art
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 can be found on the Internet so some
places
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such
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 as
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 are no longer important. In my opinion, the existence of these
places
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 is an indispensable part. Some
people
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 think that
museums
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 or
art
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galleries
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 are unnecessary. Because, the internet allows them to search for almost all the
information
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 they need, including
information
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 about historical objects or works of
art
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. They can find
this
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information
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 by using search engines like Google, YouTube or several
information
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 websites
such
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 as Wikimedia.
Therefore
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, they only need to stay at home
instead
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 of having to go to
such
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places
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.
This
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 means that they can save both their effort and their time.
However
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, there are many reasons why some
people
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 recognize that retaining these
places
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 can bring numerous positive aspects. First of all, these
places
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 can make gaining knowledge more interesting and effective.
For example
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, when they go there, they not only can look at objects directly but can
also
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 apprehend valuable knowledge with the help of more well-informed
people
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.
Moreover
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, these
places
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also
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 have the potential to attract many foreign tourists. Because the designs of
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 are usually based on a country’s architectural style.
This
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 can make foreign tourists want to enjoy exploring and sightseeing. In my view,
this
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 may lead to not only tourism industry development but
also
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 to the expansion of traditional culture to international friends. Take Independence Palace as an example, foreign tourists visiting
this
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 place are really surprised and excited about its unique structure which was completely constructed by Vietnamese citizens. In conclusion, because of the important roles that public
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 play in the preservation of a country’s heritage
as well as
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 its tourism, I strongly believe that public
museums
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 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
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 play an extremely critical role.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on the main topic and supports the overall argument. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that the response addresses all parts of the question and provides a clear opinion. Use specific examples and arguments to support your points.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used to express ideas and concepts more precisely. Avoid the repetition of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Focus on using a wider variety of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and conditional forms, to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range and accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
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