IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In our technological world, the number of new inventions has been increasing. Please make an example with its impact on our life, and explain if it is beneficial or detrimental.

#world #inventions #impact #life
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The impact of
inventions
Use synonyms
 has sparked major controversy in society.
While
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 some people believe that the number of new
inventions
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 has been increasing might bring several advantages.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both sides of the debate and
thus
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 lead to a logical conclusion.
First,
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there are numerous reasons why the number of new
inventions
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 has been increasing might bring several advantages, but the most crucial one stems from the fact that techie and technical know-how will play a vital role in science and technology. As a matter of fact, the invention of brand-new domestic appliances,
such
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 as light bulbs and steam engines will offer tons of benefits to improve quality of life.
According to
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 a recent study conducted by reputable researchers at Sydney University, trial and error by persistence and inventiveness will greatly contribute to the turning point in history.
Nevertheless
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, some people adopt an opposing view and tend to believe that the opposite holds true. It is largely attributed to the fact that
inventions
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 of some products,
such
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 as smartphones, TVs or computers may have negative impacts on young people, which they can spend too much time on daily. To be more precise, the disadvantages of flammable household appliances might be
due to
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 a lack of guidance and experience.
For example
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, the downsides of creation and health problems are critical. In conclusion,
while
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 there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, I strongly believe that the number of new
inventions
Use synonyms
 has been increasing might bring several advantages.
Submitted by Klein_shy on

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Task Response
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the prompt and stays focused on the topic. Additionally, provide a balanced argument for both sides of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is fairly developed, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in better linking the main points and supporting ideas.
Lexical Resource
The use of vocabulary and expression is adequate, but there is a need for more variety and precision in word choice. Consider using more specific and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
While the essay demonstrates a reasonable grasp of grammar and sentence structure, there are some errors and lack of sentence variety. Strive for more complexity and accuracy in sentence structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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