You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -ask your friend to send you one of the photographs. -explain why you need that particular photograph -and tell your friend what happened to your copy of it.

#trip #friend #photographs #-ask #-explain #photograph #-and #copy

Dear John, Hope you are well. I’m writing

this

email to you as I’d like you can send me one of the photos which I took in front of the Buda Palace in Tibet. As I mentioned to you before, I joined a Leadership Development Program (LDP) in my company, and we’re requested to provide a self-introduction to the program. I plan to use

this

photo

as my profile

photo

in my presentation slides. As usual, my company posts the employee-related program on our internal corporate website, I guess maybe my profile

photo

will be presented on the website after we complete the introduction presentations. Please send me the

photo

by the end of tomorrow since I need to finish the preparation of the presentation

this

Friday, thanks. Yours Sincerely. SJ

Submitted by shaojiedang on Wed Nov 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

The letter effectively asks the friend to send a photograph and explains the need for it. However, the greeting and closing need to be improved in terms of formality and appropriateness for a letter.

task achievement

The letter effectively completes the task, but the formality of the greeting and closing could be improved to better suit a letter to a friend. The tone is somewhat suitable, but could be more personal and engaging considering the context.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

131 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -ask your friend to send you one of the photographs. -explain why you need that particular photograph -and tell your friend what happened to your copy of it.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The internet has changed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems the did not exist before. What are the problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Many of today's most urgent problems can only be solved through international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?