Writing Practice. Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What are the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective in reducing crime levels?
There are a variety of different problems with
this
phenomenon . To begin
with, the main possible cause is unemployment. Because youngsters are unemployed they don't have enough money for living so juveniles often think negatively of doing bad things . Besides
that , young people
also
tend to do illegal jobs to earn big sources of wages. For instance
, a young boy doesn't have a job therefore
he chooses piracy as an occupation. Another significant cause to mention is that the younger generation is not properly educated. Teenagers are a range of ages that are easy to learn atrocious behaviour and racing. This
is the reason why teachers and parents need to supervise and enlighten young people
carefully to avoid them becoming criminals.
Despite these circumstances, there are several solutions that governments could take to solve the problem. First of all , an effective solution would be to create job opportunities for those who are unoccupied . When minors have stable work , they don't have a demand to acquire funds by doing outlaw anymore. For example
, any organization or company prioritizes recruiting young jobless people
to help improve this
problem. The final measure would be for the government to strictly manage banned activities such
as drug trafficking or robbery. Authorities have the right to sanctions and prohibitions so it can help improve this
situation . For example
, the police need to investigate and completely solve the cases of crime.
In conclusion, the problem of lawlessness in younger people
is unlikely to be entirely eliminated in the short term. However
, various solutions can be taken to tackle the issue to reduce the effects it is having on the current society.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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task response
The task response is weak as the essay lacks a clear structure and does not fully address the question.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion is adequate, with some logical structure and clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
The essay shows a limited range of vocabulary, and there are some issues with word choice and collocations.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is limited, with some errors in sentence structure and verb tense.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion