IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is observed that commercial, educational, business and residential areas are split these days. In
this
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 essay, I will demonstrate that the advantages of
this
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 establishment supersede the downsides.
To begin
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 with, some people believe that
this
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 kind of
city
Use synonyms
 division leads to great repercussions. For one thing, citizens have to move far distances to do some essential life activities, except for the residential objective,
such
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 as shopping and commuting, driving a car. Basically, they can do nothing within the range where they can move on foot.
Therefore
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, without cars, people can feel
inconvenience
Wrong verb form
inconvenienced
show examples
.
For example
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, not only should the parents pick up their children at school but
also
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 inhabitants should always bring a car when they go to a market.
Furthermore
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, it gives rise to traffic congestion in the office areas because of long-distance commuters. In spite of the demerits mentioned above, there are some benefits to the
city
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 plan where blocks are split for specific purposes.
Firstly
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, the quality of the dwelling rises, evading undue noise pollution.
This
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 is because the living sections are segmented from other sections which arouse clamorous streets.
Secondly
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, even development over the whole
city
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 is possible, reconstructing the balanced
city
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 structure. If shopping malls, schools, or offices are concentrated in a particular region, the deviation of the quality of life between the regions becomes wider.
However
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, separating a
city
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 by specific objective makes all citizens enjoy the benefits of the renovated
city
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. In a nutshell,
it is clear that
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,
although
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 there are some drawbacks to the tendency of the latest
city
Use synonyms
 plan, the merits related to residential and developmental reasons seem to continue to overbalance the disadvantages.

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. However, the examples provided could be more specific and relevant to further support the arguments. Provide more detailed and accurate examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good logical structure and clear introduction and conclusion. However, the connection between ideas within paragraphs could be improved. Use linking words and cohesive devices to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
The essay makes use of a variety of vocabulary and demonstrates a good range of lexical resources. However, some phrases and expressions are used inaccurately. Be cautious with word choice and ensure the precise use of idiomatic expressions.
grammatical range
The essay displays a good range of grammatical structures. However, there are occasional errors in subject-verb agreement and word usage. Proofread the essay carefully to identify and rectify these errors.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • spatial organization
  • urban sprawl
  • economic development
  • congestion
  • efficient land use
  • noise pollution
  • mitigating
  • amenities
  • reliance on vehicles
  • commute times
  • socioeconomic groups
  • diversity
  • sense of community
  • mixed-use spaces
  • sustainable urban lifestyles
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