Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (Cam 14 test 1)

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
everybodys
Correct your spelling
everybody
dream
Correct subject-verb agreement
dreams
show examples
to have
Change preposition
of having
show examples
a better
quality
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
stress
free
Correct your spelling
stress-free
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. Some people prefer to bear a terrible
situation
Use synonyms
, either it is
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
unsatisfactory employment or lack of money.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of the
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
believe
to seek
Change preposition
in seeking
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
imrovement
Correct your spelling
improvement
Linking Words
such
Change preposition
in such
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. Here, I agree with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
view. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arguments. Looking at one side of the argument, acceptance of a bad
situation
Use synonyms
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
. By
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
I means that, to accept
such
Linking Words
condition people became used to
such
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
and it became their routine.
For instance
Linking Words
, If a man is doing
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
as a waiter and earning not enough money to meet his basic need
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
stressful, but
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
became
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
a routine and he will circulate his
life
Use synonyms
and restrict his need
according to
Linking Words
the
situation
Use synonyms
which lead him
became
Change the verb form
to become
show examples
stressfree
Correct your spelling
stress-free
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, acceptance of
this
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
can
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a sense of patience in
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
. In
life
Use synonyms
not every moment is
pleasent
Correct your spelling
pleasant
or
according to
Linking Words
what people wish, so a person can feel and
ajdust
Correct your spelling
adapt
to every type of
situation
Use synonyms
came
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
to improve a
situation
Use synonyms
can lead to personal growth and development. To elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
idea, here
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
that, a person to improve his
life
Use synonyms
is always seek
Change the verb form
is always seeking
is always sought
show examples
to earn more and save for the future, or you can say for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
when
became
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
old.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, improvement can lead to better opportunities.
This
Linking Words
means to improve for better
situation
Use synonyms
or better
quality
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
one must search
Change preposition
for which
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
can lead to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
and better place to work.
For example
Linking Words
, If a person is working as a teacher, and is looking to
improvement
Replace the word
improve
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
mindset can lead to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
a lecturer or beyond
this
Linking Words
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, good and bad
situation
Use synonyms
is a part of everyone's
life
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
accepting
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
situation
Use synonyms
can be
stressfree
Correct your spelling
stress-free
show examples
and develop patience, but
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
of bad
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
can lead to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
even when
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
old.
Submitted by umark5353 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The essay does not effectively address the prompt and lacks a clear and comprehensive discussion of both views. It is important to provide balanced arguments for each view and give a clear personal opinion at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the introduction and conclusion are not effectively presented. The essay lacks coherence and cohesion in connecting and organizing ideas. It is essential to properly structure paragraphs and use cohesive devices to improve readability and flow.
Lexical Resource
The lexical resource is limited, and there is a lack of variety and precision in vocabulary usage. Additionally, there are issues with word choice and expression. Engaging in extensive reading and expanding vocabulary will be beneficial.
Grammatical Range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence structure. It is crucial to focus on accurate and varied sentence structures, as well as practicing grammar exercises to improve proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Acceptance
  • Contentment
  • Stress relief
  • Peace of mind
  • Personal growth
  • Development
  • Opportunities
  • Stagnation
  • Lack of progress
  • Improvement
  • Motivation
  • Effort
What to do next:
Look at other essays: