Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (Cam 14 test 1)

Nowadays,
everybodys
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everybody
dream
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dreams
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to have
Change preposition
of having
show examples
a better
quality
as well as
stress
free
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stress-free
show examples
life
. Some people prefer to bear a terrible
situation
, either it is
an
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apply
show examples
unsatisfactory employment or lack of money.
On the other hand
,
rest
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the rest
show examples
of the
poeple
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people
believe
to seek
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in seeking
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for
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apply
show examples
imrovement
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improvement
such
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in such
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. Here, I agree with the
later
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latter
show examples
view. In
this
essay
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essay,
show examples
i
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I
show examples
will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arguments. Looking at one side of the argument, acceptance of a bad
situation
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
. By
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
I means that, to accept
such
condition people became used to
such
situation
and it became their routine.
For instance
, If a man is doing
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
as a waiter and earning not enough money to meet his basic need
its
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it's
show examples
stressful, but
its
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it
show examples
became
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
a routine and he will circulate his
life
and restrict his need
according to
the
situation
which lead him
became
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to become
show examples
stressfree
Correct your spelling
stress-free
show examples
.
Moreover
, acceptance of
this
situation
can
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a sense of patience in
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
. In
life
not every moment is
pleasent
Correct your spelling
pleasant
or
according to
what people wish, so a person can feel and
ajdust
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adapt
to every type of
situation
came
in
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into
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
show examples
life
.
On the other hand
,
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
to improve a
situation
can lead to personal growth and development. To elaborate
the
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on the
show examples
idea, here
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
means
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mean
show examples
that, a person to improve his
life
is always seek
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is always seeking
is always sought
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to earn more and save for the future, or you can say for
better
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a better
show examples
quality
life
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of life
show examples
when
became
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
old.
Furthermore
, improvement can lead to better opportunities.
This
means to improve for better
situation
or better
quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
one must search
Change preposition
for which
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
can lead to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
and better place to work.
For example
, If a person is working as a teacher, and is looking to
improvement
Replace the word
improve
show examples
,
this
mindset can lead to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
a lecturer or beyond
this
.
To sum up
, good and bad
situation
is a part of everyone's
life
.
Although
accepting
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
situation
can be
stressfree
Correct your spelling
stress-free
show examples
and develop patience, but
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
of bad
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
can lead to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
even when
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
old.
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Task Response
The essay does not effectively address the prompt and lacks a clear and comprehensive discussion of both views. It is important to provide balanced arguments for each view and give a clear personal opinion at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the introduction and conclusion are not effectively presented. The essay lacks coherence and cohesion in connecting and organizing ideas. It is essential to properly structure paragraphs and use cohesive devices to improve readability and flow.
Lexical Resource
The lexical resource is limited, and there is a lack of variety and precision in vocabulary usage. Additionally, there are issues with word choice and expression. Engaging in extensive reading and expanding vocabulary will be beneficial.
Grammatical Range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence structure. It is crucial to focus on accurate and varied sentence structures, as well as practicing grammar exercises to improve proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Acceptance
  • Contentment
  • Stress relief
  • Peace of mind
  • Personal growth
  • Development
  • Opportunities
  • Stagnation
  • Lack of progress
  • Improvement
  • Motivation
  • Effort
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