Some countries focus on health care and education benefits while others on infrastructure and employment. Which do you think would be more beneficial for the population ? give specific details and examples to support your opinion.

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It is true that some
countries
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focus on healthcare and educational benefits,
while
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others focus on
infrastructure
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and
employment
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.
However
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, in my opinion,
health
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services
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and
education
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are more important in
one
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country
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, because both have an impact on that
country
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.
This
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essay will argue that
health
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and
education
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services
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are more beneficial. On the
one
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hand, the progress of a
country
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can be seen from the adequate
infrastructure
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and
employment
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opportunities for the people living in that
country
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. Currently, technological developments are increasingly high, many companies are using new
technology
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to build
infrastructure
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and provide jobs for those who need it.
However
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,
this
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is not only measured by
infrastructure
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and
employment
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,
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apply
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but
also
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by
health
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and
education
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. In producing superior human
resources
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,
education
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must be improved in various ways, so that it is more profitable for the
country
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in providing
employment
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opportunities.
For example
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, China has the best
infrastructure
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in the
world
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and lots of job opportunities, but
on the other hand
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, the government is more focused on developing
health
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technology
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with medicines produced using new
technology
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and they
also
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pay attention to the
education
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given to their children from an early age so that These children are prepared
according to
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the needs of their
country
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in the future. To obtain superior human
resources
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,
one
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of the most important things is
education
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.
On the other hand
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,
health
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services
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have always been a crucial issue in the
world
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and many governments from various
countries
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are trying to be the best in the
health
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sector. The important thought is that
this
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issue may be important in
countries
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with superior
health
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care development. By building
health
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services
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, people can live in a clean and safe environment. We can see that many
countries
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are experiencing progress in the
health
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sector with the presence of new medicines, new
technology
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and followed by the development of human
resources
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. Apart from that, good methods and curricula in the
world
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of
education
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will produce human
resources
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who are ready to work
according to
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their educational background.
One
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of the positive impacts that the government will have is the presence of medical personnel with various skills to handle the latest and greatest disease cases in a
country
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. An adequate level of
education
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and good
health
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services
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will provide progress for the
country
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's sustainable development.
For example
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, England is known for having the best
education
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system in the
world
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by prioritizing learning methods that enable younger students to understand. They
also
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create different learning curricula, where each individual can freely use
technology
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to access all their learning needs. England
also
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provides good
health
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services
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for its people, by strictly adhering to regulations issued by its government. In conclusion, good
health
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and
education
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services
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in a
country
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will provide benefits to that
country
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by producing human
resources
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who are ready to work in their respective fields. Once there are superior human
resources
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, a working system will be created where everything is controlled by individuals who have expertise so that it will provide benefits for the
country
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in sustainable growth.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task prompt. It discusses the benefits of health and education services, but needs to provide a stronger opinion on which is more beneficial for the population.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear main points, but the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly presented to frame the essay effectively.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of expressions effectively to convey meaning. However, there are some instances of repetition and wordy expressions that could be improved.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a good control of grammar and a variety of complex sentence structures. However, there are some errors in sentence structure and word usage that affect the overall clarity of the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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