Some countries focus on health care and education benefits while others on infrastructure and employment. Which do you think would be more beneficial for the population ? give specific details and examples to support your opinion.

It is true that some
countries
focus on healthcare and educational benefits,
while
others focus on
infrastructure
and
employment
.
However
, in my opinion,
health
services
and
education
are more important in
one
country
, because both have an impact on that
country
.
This
essay will argue that
health
and
education
services
are more beneficial. On the
one
hand, the progress of a
country
can be seen from the adequate
infrastructure
and
employment
opportunities for the people living in that
country
. Currently, technological developments are increasingly high, many companies are using new
technology
to build
infrastructure
and provide jobs for those who need it.
However
,
this
is not only measured by
infrastructure
and
employment
,
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but
also
by
health
and
education
. In producing superior human
resources
,
education
must be improved in various ways, so that it is more profitable for the
country
in providing
employment
opportunities.
For example
, China has the best
infrastructure
in the
world
and lots of job opportunities, but
on the other hand
, the government is more focused on developing
health
technology
with medicines produced using new
technology
and they
also
pay attention to the
education
given to their children from an early age so that These children are prepared
according to
the needs of their
country
in the future. To obtain superior human
resources
,
one
of the most important things is
education
.
On the other hand
,
health
services
have always been a crucial issue in the
world
and many governments from various
countries
are trying to be the best in the
health
sector. The important thought is that
this
issue may be important in
countries
with superior
health
care development. By building
health
services
, people can live in a clean and safe environment. We can see that many
countries
are experiencing progress in the
health
sector with the presence of new medicines, new
technology
and followed by the development of human
resources
. Apart from that, good methods and curricula in the
world
of
education
will produce human
resources
who are ready to work
according to
their educational background.
One
of the positive impacts that the government will have is the presence of medical personnel with various skills to handle the latest and greatest disease cases in a
country
. An adequate level of
education
and good
health
services
will provide progress for the
country
's sustainable development.
For example
, England is known for having the best
education
system in the
world
by prioritizing learning methods that enable younger students to understand. They
also
create different learning curricula, where each individual can freely use
technology
to access all their learning needs. England
also
provides good
health
services
for its people, by strictly adhering to regulations issued by its government. In conclusion, good
health
and
education
services
in a
country
will provide benefits to that
country
by producing human
resources
who are ready to work in their respective fields. Once there are superior human
resources
, a working system will be created where everything is controlled by individuals who have expertise so that it will provide benefits for the
country
in sustainable growth.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task prompt. It discusses the benefits of health and education services, but needs to provide a stronger opinion on which is more beneficial for the population.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear main points, but the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly presented to frame the essay effectively.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of expressions effectively to convey meaning. However, there are some instances of repetition and wordy expressions that could be improved.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a good control of grammar and a variety of complex sentence structures. However, there are some errors in sentence structure and word usage that affect the overall clarity of the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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