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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Today in many countries people are living in a throwaway society where things are used for a short time and then throw away. What do you think is the cause and what problems will it lead to ?

#countries #people #society #time
In recent times, people have argued that a lifestyle like
throwaway
Correct article usage
a throwaway
show examples
 society is modern and ordinary without the awareness that it brings several drawbacks. I will show
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 and consequences of throwaway society in
this
 essay. On the one hand,
this
 problem results from
characteristics
Correct article usage
the characteristics
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 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and the high productivity of
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
 or companies.
Firstly
, in the past until now most people have had a habit that when they
recieved
Correct your spelling
receive
 a new thing
instead
 of the old one, they may throw the old thing into the rubbish or give it to others.
For example
, a child when he is given a novel toy by their parents
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may forget the other toys, even never use them once more times.
Moreover
, several companies with many products published make users want to buy and experience all of them.
Hence
, the consumers purchase
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a quantity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same function which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
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 to
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
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 it in a short time
then
change
Wrong verb form
changing
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 to another and after a long time it becomes a habit
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
this
 issue mainly
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of
environment
Add an article
the environment
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. First of all, when consumers waste too many products resulting in
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
plastic
released
Add a missing verb
being released
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 nature
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it takes large efforts of scientists and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to solve
this
.
Furthermore
, when there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a huge consumption, the producers will try to improve productivity, so a great deal of materials may be exploited leading to the safe of many animals. If people do not resolve it
these plastic
Change the determiner
this plastic
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 may harm
to
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apply
show examples
several creatures
such
 as habitats of ocean and forest animals. Specifically,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 article shows that a whale died after it
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
 plastics
instead
 of
their foods
Fix the agreement mistake
its food
show examples
 and another report shows that some creatures
have
Verb problem
are at
show examples
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
 to extinct because their habitats are destroyed by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 throwaway society results from the humanity and competition or productivity of companies, and
this
 problem
affected
Verb problem
apply
show examples
negatively in the existence of some animals.
Submitted by dinhtrungkien285 on

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task response
The essay addresses the issue and provides some relevant points, but the response lacks depth and clarity. It would benefit from a more comprehensive exploration of the causes and consequences to fully address the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but there are some issues with the logical flow of ideas and lack of a clear introduction and conclusion. Consider organizing the ideas more coherently and providing a stronger introduction and conclusion to improve coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and may benefit from using a wider variety of words and expressions to convey ideas more effectively. Consider incorporating more diverse and precise vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay shows a reasonable control of grammar and sentence structure, but there are some errors in sentence formation and verb tense consistency. Work on improving sentence structure and ensuring consistent and accurate use of verb tenses to enhance grammatical range.
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