Some people choose to be vegetarians because they believe it improves their health and has a positive effect on the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #vegetarians #health #effect #world

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Nowadays, there are numerous individuals who believe that being vegetarians would be good for their health and

also

Linking Words

beneficial for the global environment. I strongly disagree with

this

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statement, not only because of the importance of eating meat for our body

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

because of the economic impact on the society. The main reason I do not support the idea of being vegetarian is because of the importance of animal

protein

Use synonyms

for humans. It is well known that the human body requires animal

protein

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to survive, and if we stop eating

this

Linking Words

kind

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of food, there would be serious consequences for our body

fuction

Correct your spelling

function

For instance

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, if a person stops consuming animal

protein

Use synonyms

, the

immunologic

Replace the word

immunological

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system will be affected, and a series of diseases

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be present more frequently.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, another reason why I do not agree with

vegetarism

Correct your spelling

vegetarian

vegetarianism

is because of the economic aspect of

this

Linking Words

idea. There are serious studies about the impact of the animal meat

industry

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for

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the economy

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apply

show examples

and all the benefits associated with

this

Linking Words

kind

Use synonyms

of market. A great number of direct and indirect employees who

deppend

Correct your spelling

depend

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show examples

this

Linking Words

kind

Use synonyms

industry

Use synonyms

to survive.

For example

Linking Words

, one of the biggest

emplyers

Correct your spelling

employers

in Brazil is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

animal

protein

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industry

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responsable

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responsible

for more than 20,000 direct jobs around the country. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the vegetarism.

This

Linking Words

kind

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of practice can cause numerous problems for our health, because of the

nagative

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negative

impact on our

immunologic

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immunological

show examples

system, and it is

also

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very dangerous for the economy and the entire

industry

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related to

this

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kind

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of market.

Submitted by lucasb7z on Thu Nov 09 2023

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task response

Ensure that your essay clearly addresses the task prompt and provides a comprehensive response with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is generally well-organized, but ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument and flows cohesively.

lexical resource

Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but be mindful of using more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.

grammatical range

While your essay exhibits complex and simple sentence structures, aim for greater accuracy in sentence construction and be cautious of errors in grammar and punctuation.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

vegetarian
improves
health
positive effect
world
extent
agree
disagree
benefits
meat consumption
environmental impact
animal agriculture
ethics
counterarguments
balanced diet
compromise

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Some people choose to be vegetarians because they believe it improves their health and has a positive effect on the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people think city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new homes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people argue that when children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough, the children will be sucessful in life. Some think that it will lead to negative pressure on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.