IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people believe that amusements parks are causing serious environmental problems what are theses problems how can they be solves?

#people #amusements #parks #theses
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Increasing the public areas is the
purposes
Fix the agreement mistake
purpose
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 of balancing society nowadays.
However
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, many people believe that
amusements
Change the noun form
amusement
show examples
parks
Use synonyms
 are causing serious environmental problems.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons for these problems and some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 to address them. Entertainment
parks
Use synonyms
 can generate huge
Use synonyms
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
.
For instance
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, fast foods are very convenient because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 flexibility and
easy
Correct your spelling
ease
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to bring
Change preposition
of bringing
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 and they are
also
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 delicious.
Accordingly
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, people tend to bring them when going out, especially to an amusement park.
Consequently
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, the amount of waste
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 plastic bags or containers is
growth
Replace the word
growing
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 quickly.
In addition
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, to attract
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 to experience services in the
parks
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, the owners are usually expecting to construct their projects
on
Change preposition
in
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 attractive locations
such
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 as high mountains and islands.
These action
Change the determiner
This action
These actions
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 lead to damage
numerous
Change preposition
to numerous
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 trees and destroy the habitat of many wild animals.
Hence
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, the
eco-system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
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losses
Replace the word
loses
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 balance. To resolve
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 issues, there are some fundamental methods to follow. The first solution is establishing the waste basket system, which can divide the kind of
Use synonyms
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
.
Accordingly
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, we can recycle and suitable
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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 to delve
with
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
. The second solution is contributing to eco-
parks
Use synonyms
. These
parks
Use synonyms
are relied
Wrong verb form
rely
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 on the environment basically, and always try to
minimum
Replace the word
minimise
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change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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 to
environment
Add an article
the environment
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.
To conclude
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,
amusements
Change the noun form
amusement
show examples
parks
Use synonyms
are generated
Wrong verb form
generate
show examples
 some adverse effects on
environment
Add an article
the environment
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such
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 as increasing the amount of
Use synonyms
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 and
destroy
Wrong verb form
destroying
show examples
wildlife
Correct article usage
the wildlife
show examples
 system.
Therefore
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, we should build systems to divide the kind of
Use synonyms
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 and
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 eco-park.
Submitted by huong.bx on

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task response
The content is generally relevant to the task. It addresses the reasons for environmental problems caused by amusement parks and suggests two solutions to resolve the issues.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas in the body paragraphs are not logically connected, leading to a lack of coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
There is a good range of vocabulary used, but some words are not used accurately or effectively in the context.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammatical structures and features a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are some errors in word choice and verb tense consistency that affect clarity and precision.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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