IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information on concusmer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.

The table below gives information on concusmer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.
#information #concusmer #items #five #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table provides information about the percentage of different types of goods (several types of foods, fashion, and leisure or education) consumed by
people
Use synonyms
 in Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden, and Turkey for one year in 2002. In general, the most expenditure was put on
food
Use synonyms
 items,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest was on leisure or education.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, The Turkish consumed the most percentage of consumption with 32% of
food
Use synonyms
/drinks/tobacco, followed by the Irish who spent 28.91%
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different types of
food
Use synonyms
. Spanish, Italian and Sweden
people
Use synonyms
, consumed 18.80%, 16.36%, and 15.77% respectively.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in those countries expended their money on fashion about three to four times less than
Use synonyms
food
Change preposition
on food
show examples
 items. Italian spent the biggest percentage of fashion with 9.00%,
while
Linking Words
 Turkish, Spanish, and Irish consumed 6.63% ,6.51%,
6,43
Correct word choice
and 6,43
show examples
%, and of
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
respectively. Meanwhile, expenditure on leisure or education things always placed below 5%. Turkish, Sweden
people
Use synonyms
, Italian, Irish, and Spanish expended 4.35%, 3.22%, 3.20%, 2.21%, and 1.98% respectively.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer spending
  • categories
  • comparison
  • trends
  • patterns
  • economic factors
  • cost of living
  • average income
  • cultural values
  • implications
  • data analysis
  • leisure activities
  • significant differences
  • budget allocation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: