Nowadays there is a growing amount of advertising aimed at children. Some people think this has negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the

commercials

aimed at

juveniles

should be limited to negative influences. Personally, I agree with the statement that it ought to make an appropriate censorship to regulate. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the commercial industry leads to abundant job opportunities for employees. If the government sets limitations on advertising, it may contribute to a certain of workers being laid off.

Consequently

, the nation has to allocate a certain of expenditure on unemployment support funding.

In addition

advertisements

create enormous revenues

as well as

commercial merits.

For instance

, in well-known enterprises

such

as Facebook and Google,

advertisements

account for a large proportion of revenue among these companies.

Therefore

, letting advertising develop without limitations can not only improve a country’s economy but

also

create more benefits.

However

, in my opinion, some

commercials

that are aimed at

children

have several negative effects on

juveniles

Firstly

Children

lack the ability to think critically.

In other words

, they are unlikely to independently determine the information disseminated from

advertisements

between right and wrong.

Hence

, these

commercials

may misguide them to compulsively buy the items they do not need.

Secondly

advertisements

may bring incorrect habits to

juveniles

For example

, with the wide spread of McDonald’s

advertisements

, some

children

started to eat junk foods; even causing an unhealthy dietary habit in their childhood.

As a result

, on no account can we ignore the importance of censored limitations on

commercials

that aim at

children

. In conclusion, despite the fact that

advertisements

are able to improve a nation’s economy, I believe that we should impose a sensible ban on some particular advertising aimed at

juveniles

Submitted by sherry0588 on Fri Nov 10 2023

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task response

Ensure that your arguments are supported with clear and relevant examples and explanations. Use specific evidence to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Work on connecting your ideas more clearly. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Targeted advertising
Psychological development
Artificial needs
Unhealthy eating habits
Materialism
Consumerism
Parental responsibility
Critical thinking
Informative content
Economic implications
Revenue generation
Content creation

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Nowadays there is a growing amount of advertising aimed at children. Some people think this has negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

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Today family members do not eat meals together. Why does this happen? Is this a positive or negative development Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices like smart phones, tablets and laptop computer. Do the advantages of such development outweigh the disadvantage? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?