With the development of social media, more and more young people are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?
In today's world, younger people are experiencing a significant increase in online
harm
. While
some argue that there is less supervision of adolescents' online access from their parents
, others contend that websites should develop further
platforms to prevent youngsters from connecting with strangers. Whether the suggestion works, adults, especially those who have kids, may consider this
problem of unsupervised risk
. In the following paragraphs, we will discuss it further
.
While
young children
start to utilize the internet and computer to learn something new, such
as doing homework, having an online lesson, and playing games, they have gradual possibilities to meet any uncertainty. There are a few ways to deal with those issues. Firstly
, setting up private settings on children
's online devices to keep less security from online harm
from strangers. Secondly
, dedicating certain times of the day as common hours for digital use, so that the family can be together. Then
, the groomers could perceive the presence of parents
as an increasing risk
of being detected. Thirdly
, check the kid's profile on social media profile to affirm their intentions or reduce the risk
of triggering bad people. Above are the three ways by parent's supervision and advance controls by setting up virtual and visual settings.
However
, if applications or website developers can configure the platforms, either
inform the kid's family about the potentially hazardous conditions for Correct word choice
apply
children
who are under 18 years old. In this
way avoid adolescents getting unsupervised access to have more chances to meet someone they chat with only online.Thus
, providing both platform configuring and parent supervision can reduce delinquency.
Keeping children
from online harm
no longer has to be because of either being supervised by parents
or configured by platform developers. They are less likely to decrease the possibility of letting children
experience online harm
. It is pivotal that parents
make an effort to trace online digital technology being used by kids, the risk
of connecting with bad guys may drop less normal.Submitted by aa0963178783 on
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structure
To enhance clarity, ensure your ideas are clearly divided into paragraphs, each serving a specific purpose (introduction, body, conclusion).
content
Clarify and expand on your examples to directly relate them to the problem and proposed solutions.
language use
Practice paraphrasing to avoid repetition and enrich your vocabulary, contributing to a more engaging and articulate essay.
grammar
Watch out for subtle grammatical issues and aim for precision in your language to further improve your score.
cohesion
Consider a wider range of linking words and phrases for smoother transitions between ideas.
content
You provided a balanced discussion covering both parental supervision and changes by platform developers as solutions.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion clearly bookend the essay, presenting the topic and summarizing your position effectively.
relevance
The essay stays on topic, addressing the issue of unsupervised internet access and its dangers.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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