You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: These days many people prefer online shopping to conventional shopping. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

E-shopping is the most popular choice
than
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over
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traditional shopping owing to the advancement of technology. There are quite a lot of benefits and drawbacks of online shopping. Gone were the days,
where
Correct word choice
when
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we
need
Wrong verb form
needed
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to wait in the queue to buy
things
and
scare
Wrong verb form
were scared
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for
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of
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the closure of the shops.
Due to
online shopping, we can shop anywhere and anytime and we can call it
as
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apply
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24/7 shopping. Like in conventional shops, we can't find everything in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same shops. As we have to travel to different stores to buy different items.
For instance
, if you take
amazon
Capitalize word
Amazon
show examples
, an online shopping app where we can buy anything in a single store. It is quite convenient.
Also
, during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
festive
season
Add a comma
season,
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all offers made in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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E-shopping
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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afforable
Correct your spelling
affordable
compared to conventional ones. So,these benefits pull the crowd towards online websites to shop.
However
, it
also
has a flip side. If we
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
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to buy some clothes, it is very difficult to see a trail of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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as we should know the exact size which suits us. What if some
things
received
from
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apply
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online
has
Wrong verb form
have been
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damaged
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Well, we can just return it but the process of returning the item is
also
a very hectic process. Meanwhile, we can't buy
things
and receive
things
instantly as we should wait for a specific time frame.
This
make
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makes
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us ponder whether online shopping is a better option.
To conclude
online shopping is really a breakthrough as it is the
easiet
Correct your spelling
easiest
form of shopping but with several cons. Hopefully, technology will solve these problems in future.
Submitted by vigvic013 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main ideas and provide a strong structure for the essay.
task achievement
The essay lacks clarity and comprehensive development of ideas. You need to focus on expressing your points in a clear and organized manner.
lexical resource
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to word choice and accuracy to enhance the quality of your essay.
grammatical range
Simplify and clarify your sentence structures to avoid grammatical errors, and ensure that you vary your sentence structures for better coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • conventional shopping
  • prefer
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • online shopping
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide range
  • competitive prices
  • accessible
  • comparison
  • lack of
  • physical experience
  • delayed delivery
  • potential
  • fraud
  • limited customer service
  • dependence
  • technology
  • impersonal
  • shopping experience
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