The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.

#information #employment #rates #countries

The bar chart illustrates how many

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of people

employed

Add a missing verb

were employed

show examples

in 6 different countries (Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, the UK, New Zealand, and the US) in two time periods.

Overall

, Iceland

was having

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

the highest rate of

male

Add an article

the male

a male

show examples

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

while

Switzerland

is having

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

the highest of

female

Add an article

the female

show examples

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

. Based on the data, most men are employed rather than

women

in all countries. The

least

Correct word choice

lowest

show examples

percentage of employment

is happen

Wrong verb form

happened

show examples

to be

women

in New Zealand and Australia (in 1995 and 2005, respectively) In 1995, the employment

rates

Fix the agreement mistake

rate

show examples

in Iceland for men

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

slightly above 70% and increased to more than 80% after 10 years. Around 55% of

women

in Switzerland are

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

and

Correct word choice

which

show examples

rose to approximately 77% in 2005 which is similar to the lowest percentage of men who worked. In 1995, the New Zealanders

women

were approximately 35% having a job which made it

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the lowest rate of employment. The Australian

women

were slightly below 40% employed in 2005.

Submitted by buttercookies28 on Fri Nov 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

employment rates
economic indicators
comparison
trends
improvements
declines
anomalies
fluctuating
economic policy
financial conditions
technological advancements
educational levels
standards of living
poverty rates
well-being
implications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
You have been experiencing problem with the local transport. Write a letter to the manager of the public transportation service and say: -How have you used the local public transport? -What problems have you experience? -Suggest how they can improve the service
I want to express my dissatisfaction with the public transportation system. I recently had an unpleasant experience commuting to work.
5
band
In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?
Parental responsibilities vary from domain to domain. I would argue that this situation is heavily related to the traditional position of women in society. However, fathers are expected to take more active role in terms of childcare as more female citizens will be working.
5.5
band
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is commonly believed that many people have an innate ability in certain areas, and others do not. However, this wisdom is sometimes challenged by the fact that education can build children's ability to master certain things. Despite we know that training can improve someone’s skills even better, I believe that genes make the main contribution for people to reach the highest point of their careers.
5.5
band
Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing are more likely to get satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Choosing a job and sticking to it is often seen as the key to a successful and satisfying career life. However, this is not necessarily the case, as there are many advantages to frequently changing jobs. This essay will discuss the merits of both approaches and argue that neither is necessarily more likely to lead to a satisfying career life.
4.5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advatanges of having an ageing population outweigh the disavantages?
It is argued whether older individuals are considered an issue for governments . But that might not be the case , people off all ages are equally important in order to form a society . In this essay I will further elaborate my views to reach a logical conclusion .

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.

You have been experiencing problem with the local transport. Write a letter to the manager of the public transportation service and say: -How have you used the local public transport? -What problems have you experience? -Suggest how they can improve the service

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing are more likely to get satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?