IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
#information #employment #rates #countries
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The bar chart illustrates how many
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of people
employed
Add a missing verb
were employed
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 in 6 different countries (Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, the UK, New Zealand, and the US) in two time periods.
Overall
Linking Words
, Iceland
was having
Wrong verb form
has
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 the highest rate of
male
Add an article
the male
a male
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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while
Linking Words
 Switzerland
is having
Wrong verb form
has
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 the highest of
female
Add an article
the female
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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. Based on the data, most men are employed rather than
women
Use synonyms
 in all countries. The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 percentage of employment
is happen
Wrong verb form
happened
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 to be
women
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand and Australia (in 1995 and 2005, respectively) In 1995, the employment
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
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 in Iceland for men
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 slightly above 70% and increased to more than 80% after 10 years. Around 55% of
women
Use synonyms
 in Switzerland are
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
and
Correct word choice
which
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 rose to approximately 77% in 2005 which is similar to the lowest percentage of men who worked. In 1995, the New Zealanders
women
Use synonyms
 were approximately 35% having a job which made it
to
Change preposition
apply
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the lowest rate of employment. The Australian
women
Use synonyms
 were slightly below 40% employed in 2005.
Submitted by buttercookies28 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economic indicators
  • comparison
  • trends
  • improvements
  • declines
  • anomalies
  • fluctuating
  • economic policy
  • financial conditions
  • technological advancements
  • educational levels
  • standards of living
  • poverty rates
  • well-being
  • implications
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