Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Advertising would introduce to people products that easier their lifestyle or does it just offer new things that may not need? It is a debate these days. I agree with the side of people who consider that ads, commercials on TV or written media provide items with the aim to help
to
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improve people’s lives.
This
essay will discuss some viewpoints that support how helpful would be advertising. First of all, new trends all over the world could be published by using advertising in different ways, written, on Facebook and Instagram or TV commercials. It is well known those days that we are facing issues with degrading plastic, so through publishing, it is being introduced old-fashioned wooden toys for toddlers, which contribute to reducing the plastic used to build them, in consequence at the same time plastic waste will be reduced.
Furthermore
, are the cheapest option for parents and offer the same purpose for developing the abilities of our children like matching the image, counting numbers and identifying the names of fruits and animals at the earliest ages, which are aligned with their elementary knowledge. To extend a little bit more in the matter, the public who are looking forward to renovating any room at home with a practical purpose could find in advertising marvellous ideas to make their dreamed space.
For example
, my brother is a handyman who loves to build up his own projects from scratch, to make that happen it is important to have the space and tools well organised. Watching an advertisement on TV, he found practical storage for tools that gave him the opportunity to redistribute and organize the room to make a taller for developing his projects in the future.
In addition
, these improvements help him to reduce the time-lime for the final result. In conclusion, advertising in written or social media would provide an opportunity for people’s lives to save time and money. For those groups of the public that want to improve their lifestyle, I would encourage them to evaluate their needs before going through the purchase, it will make a balance between item value and its functionality.
Submitted by mantonieta.albarracin on

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task response
Overall, your essay does address the topic, but it could be more clear and explicit in answering the question posed. Ensure that you address both sides of the argument and make your own stance clear throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a more logical and flowing structure to your essay. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed and easy to follow. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs should be smoother to aid reader understanding.
lexical resource
Aim to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. This includes using synonyms, less common phrases, and showing precision in word choice.
grammatical range
To achieve a higher score, use a variety of complex sentence structures, and check for grammatical accuracy throughout. Your essay shows some use of complex sentences, but it could benefit from greater variety and complexity.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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