The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011.

#information #department #stores #australia

The diagram displays the data of the Number of businesses, profit, sales revenue, and growth of

department

stores

and online

stores

in Australia for the year 2011.

overall

, it is readily apparent that online

stores

in Australia are a greater success than

department

stores

. They have a slightly higher value in all 4 categories.

However

, Sales revenue stands out the most in online

stores

. In terms of the Number of businesses, online

stores

have more, at around 368 businesses with a growth

Change preposition

show examples

6%.

In contrast

Department

stores

have a smaller number of

retails

Replace the word

retailers

show examples

in Australia, around 67, and have a slightly lower percentage of growth than E-commerce, at 4%. In comparison, chain

stores

and E-businesses have sufficient profit at 807AUD and 863AUD respectively.

However

, the sales revenue of online

stores

is more significant (13,400AUD) than the

department

stores

(12,700AUD)

Submitted by amnahazfar03 on Sat Nov 11 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words department, stores, aud with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

140 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

revenue
customer satisfaction
product range
convenience
accessibility
observable trends
shopping habits
preferences
traditional department stores
online shopping
significant differences
comparison
examination
analysis

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The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You want to complain about the service that you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting. Write a letter to the person who organized the meeting. In the letter Describe the meeting Explain the problems with the service Suggest what the meeting organizer should do.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?