The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011.
The diagram displays the data of the Number of businesses, profit, sales revenue, and growth of
department
stores
and online stores
in Australia for the year 2011.
overall
, it is readily apparent that online stores
in Australia are a greater success than department
stores
. They have a slightly higher value in all 4 categories. However
, Sales revenue stands out the most in online stores
.
In terms of the Number of businesses, online stores
have more, at around 368 businesses with a growth at
6%. Change preposition
of
In contrast
, Department
stores
have a smaller number of retails
in Australia, around 67, and have a slightly lower percentage of growth than E-commerce, at 4%.
In comparison, chain Replace the word
retailers
stores
and E-businesses have sufficient profit at 807AUD and 863AUD respectively. However
, the sales revenue of online stores
is more significant (13,400AUD) than the department
stores
(12,700AUD)Submitted by amnahazfar03 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words department, stores, aud with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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