In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In some parts of the world, the number of residents moving from rural
areas
to the cities
is increasing, thereby leaving the countryside becomes fewer inhabitants. Such
a phenomenon can cause an appalling economic condition and cause the cities
to become more populated, leading to negative development.
Primarily, all citizens play a vital role in countries' economic growth, not only people in the cities
, but also
in the isolated areas
. This
is due to
the fact that people in the countryside contribute from agricultural sectors. If individuals, like farmers, fishermen, and agricultural-related jobs, move to the cities
, the country will witness a shortage of staple foods which are cultivated and produced by those workers. This
issue will exceptionally influence the economic cycle of certain countries because they will lose support from such
sectors as one of the largest economic contributors. Letting those who live in rural areas
move, therefore
, may result in numerous shortcomings.
Another problem that possibly emerges if people continue to move to the capital is the prolonged congestion on the road because there will be an increase in the number of vehicles used. The notorious traffic in Jakarta, for instance
, might be the result of an overload population. Beyond this
malady, the more individuals live in a particular area, the harder they will seek jobs. Thus
, limited job opportunities can also
occur owing to never-ending competition in the labour market, increasing the unemployment rate.
In conclusion, the world trend of moving from suburban areas
to the capital will cause a problem in the economic sector and also
contribute to traffic congestion which has been an alarming problem in the cities
. Hence
, I believe that this
will lead to negative development.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that directly answer the question. While your conclusion does recap main points effectively, your introduction could more directly address the question of whether this development is positive or negative.
Support and Examples
Work on including more specific and varied examples to support points. This strengthens arguments and task achievement. Vague references to generic ideas or examples like 'the notorious traffic in Jakarta' should be replaced with more detailed, relevant instances that support the argument.
Cohesion and Coherence
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices and structuring paragraphs so that each one introduces a new idea while linking back to the overall thesis of the essay.
Task Achievement
To address the task achievement more fully, ensure you explore both sides of the argument or have a balanced discussion, even if your personal opinion leans towards one, unless the prompt specifically asks for your opinion.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?