In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In some parts of the world, the number of residents moving from rural

areas

Use synonyms

to the

cities

Use synonyms

is increasing, thereby leaving the countryside becomes fewer inhabitants.

Such

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a phenomenon can cause an appalling economic condition and cause the

cities

Use synonyms

to become more populated, leading to negative development. Primarily, all citizens play a vital role in countries' economic growth, not only people in the

cities

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, but

also

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in the isolated

areas

Use synonyms

This

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due to

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the fact that people in the countryside contribute from agricultural sectors. If individuals, like farmers, fishermen, and agricultural-related jobs, move to the

cities

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, the country will witness a shortage of staple foods which are cultivated and produced by those workers.

This

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issue will exceptionally influence the economic cycle of certain countries because they will lose support from

such

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sectors as one of the largest economic contributors. Letting those who live in rural

areas

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move,

therefore

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, may result in numerous shortcomings. Another problem that possibly emerges if people continue to move to the capital is the prolonged congestion on the road because there will be an increase in the number of vehicles used. The notorious traffic in Jakarta,

for instance

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, might be the result of an overload population. Beyond

this

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malady, the more individuals live in a particular area, the harder they will seek jobs.

Thus

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, limited job opportunities can

also

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occur owing to never-ending competition in the labour market, increasing the unemployment rate. In conclusion, the world trend of moving from suburban

areas

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to the capital will cause a problem in the economic sector and

also

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contribute to traffic congestion which has been an alarming problem in the

cities

Use synonyms

Hence

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, I believe that

this

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will lead to negative development.

misstiasclassroomSat Nov 11 2023

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Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that directly answer the question. While your conclusion does recap main points effectively, your introduction could more directly address the question of whether this development is positive or negative.

Support and Examples

Work on including more specific and varied examples to support points. This strengthens arguments and task achievement. Vague references to generic ideas or examples like 'the notorious traffic in Jakarta' should be replaced with more detailed, relevant instances that support the argument.

Cohesion and Coherence

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices and structuring paragraphs so that each one introduces a new idea while linking back to the overall thesis of the essay.

Task Achievement

To address the task achievement more fully, ensure you explore both sides of the argument or have a balanced discussion, even if your personal opinion leans towards one, unless the prompt specifically asks for your opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

You would like to work overseas, write a letter to an employment agency. Write:- - what job you would like to apply - what companies are you looking for - why do you want to work overseas

Many people think that the government should not restrict what people say in public media as it is part of freedom of speech. To what extent do you agree to this statement?

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

In some countries, schools are open late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.