In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some parts of the world, the number of residents moving from rural
areas
Use synonyms
to the
cities
Use synonyms
is increasing, thereby leaving the countryside becomes fewer inhabitants.
Such
Linking Words
a phenomenon can cause an appalling economic condition and cause the
cities
Use synonyms
to become more populated, leading to negative development. Primarily, all citizens play a vital role in countries' economic growth, not only people in the
cities
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
in the isolated
areas
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
the fact that people in the countryside contribute from agricultural sectors. If individuals, like farmers, fishermen, and agricultural-related jobs, move to the
cities
Use synonyms
, the country will witness a shortage of staple foods which are cultivated and produced by those workers.
This
Linking Words
issue will exceptionally influence the economic cycle of certain countries because they will lose support from
such
Linking Words
sectors as one of the largest economic contributors. Letting those who live in rural
areas
Use synonyms
move,
therefore
Linking Words
, may result in numerous shortcomings. Another problem that possibly emerges if people continue to move to the capital is the prolonged congestion on the road because there will be an increase in the number of vehicles used. The notorious traffic in Jakarta,
for instance
Linking Words
, might be the result of an overload population. Beyond
this
Linking Words
malady, the more individuals live in a particular area, the harder they will seek jobs.
Thus
Linking Words
, limited job opportunities can
also
Linking Words
occur owing to never-ending competition in the labour market, increasing the unemployment rate. In conclusion, the world trend of moving from suburban
areas
Use synonyms
to the capital will cause a problem in the economic sector and
also
Linking Words
contribute to traffic congestion which has been an alarming problem in the
cities
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, I believe that
this
Linking Words
will lead to negative development.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that directly answer the question. While your conclusion does recap main points effectively, your introduction could more directly address the question of whether this development is positive or negative.
Support and Examples
Work on including more specific and varied examples to support points. This strengthens arguments and task achievement. Vague references to generic ideas or examples like 'the notorious traffic in Jakarta' should be replaced with more detailed, relevant instances that support the argument.
Cohesion and Coherence
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices and structuring paragraphs so that each one introduces a new idea while linking back to the overall thesis of the essay.
Task Achievement
To address the task achievement more fully, ensure you explore both sides of the argument or have a balanced discussion, even if your personal opinion leans towards one, unless the prompt specifically asks for your opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: