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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie charts show the spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
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The pie charts
comprise of
Verb problem
show
show examples
 British citizen expenditure in two different years which are 1971 and 2001.
Overall
, in 1971, most
people
 in the UK
like
Wrong verb form
liked
show examples
 to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
their money on
food
, which is opposed to their behaviour 3 decades later which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in 2001,
people
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
 their salary by
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
cars
.
In addition
, in the prior period
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
(
1971)
Add a comma
1971),
show examples
 only a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 portion of
people
 spent
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their money on computers. Meanwhile in 2001, buying a book
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
seemingly became unpopular those days. In 1971,
Food
 became the most spent item with 44% which is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
half of
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
 spent on bought
cars
. Citizen expenditure on
cars
 rate is more than twice of petrol being bought back
then
 in 1971, which is 10%. Closely followed by furniture which has the
equal
Correct word choice
same
show examples
 amount rate as restaurants for 7% and books for 6%. The least spending of
people
 in the UK is on computers, with the fact that these things may be unpopular in that year. As opposed to what happened in 2001,
people
 mostly spent their salary on
cars
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the huge difference rate spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
food
 and restaurants by 29%, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 14%. Computer
spent is
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 rapidly rose from 2% in 1971 to 12% in 2001.
On the other hand
,
along with
 the
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 from
cars
 and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 spent, there are the remaining categories
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 least spent with, which are furniture,
food
, and books for 8%, 8%, and 1% respectively.
Submitted by baitynuris191 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, cars with synonyms.
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