IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#gain #work #travel #life #education
Taking a
gap
year
 between finishing school or college and starting university is a popular choice for young people, especially among European and American
students
. Generally, doing so doesn't negatively affect their educational progress.
Moreover
, how
this
 time is spent can lead to invaluable experiences before beginning higher education." Looking at the details, a common motive for taking a break from studies is to explore the world.
This
also
 allows
students
 to encounter a variety of cultures and sometimes discover opportunities overseas that might not be available in their home country.
Furthermore
, taking a
year
 out can provide practical work experience that enhances a student's resume and makes them more competitive in the job market after graduating from university.
In addition
, a
gap
year
 can offer a break from academic pressures, allowing
students
 to start university with renewed focus and energy."
On the other hand
, there are certain cons to taking a
gap
year
. Some argue that taking a
year
 off to rest might lead to a loss of academic momentum and make the transition back to academic life more challenging.
Additionally
, there is a risk that skipping one academic
year
 could turn into a prolonged break from studies, making it harder for
students
 to return.
As a result
, non-academic life might disrupt well-planned futures if appealing job offers or additional travel opportunities arise.
To sum up
, even though some individuals argue that taking a
gap
year
 can lead to a loss of academic momentum, it can offer broad-based benefits for
students
."
Submitted by shahobhozratkulov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, try including more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt. It will help in maintaining a logical flow and making your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
You can enhance the logical structure by making smoother transitions between points. This ensures the essay reads well and maintains a consistent flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the arguments well.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the discussion, which provides a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning and relevant examples, although more specific details could be included.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: