IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The plans show an office in a university in 2005 and the same office now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

#plans #show #office #university #summarise #information #features #comparisons #minutes
The illustrations show the differences in plans of an
office
 from a University in 2005 and now.
Overall
, it can be seen that the main change is that the place seems to be bigger, and the distribution of furniture is different now. In 2005, the
office
 used to be divided into four areas. After the entrance it used to
be
Correct your spelling
we
show examples
 found the noticeboard, the photocopier, some cabinets, and armchairs near the right wall, and around there were three more rooms, each one of them had the same goods (desk and filling cabinets), but they were distributed in diverse positions. The current
office
 just has two areas. The main room retained some of the old appliances, but there were introduced some new ones like the coffee machine, and water cooler
as well as
 a waiting room and some desks where two of the rooms used to be in the latest plan. The only space that stayed intact was the one up
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side of the
office
, even maintaining the position of the objects from 2005.
Submitted by jennifergamboa254 on

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Task Response
The essay provides a partial response to the task with some relevant examples, but it lacks a clear introduction and a conclusion for the comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is unclear, and the lack of a clear introduction and conclusion affects the overall coherence and cohesion. The essay should be organized in a more coherent manner with better paragraph structure and transition words.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and uses some imprecise or awkward phrasing. It would benefit from using a wider variety of vocabulary and more precise language to describe the changes.
Grammatical Range
The essay contains several grammatical errors and lacks sentence variety. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasing. It would be advisable to work on using a wider range of grammatical structures and maintaining more consistent and accurate use of grammar throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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