Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some say that

parents

Use synonyms

should

taught

Change the verb form

teach

be taught

show examples

their

kids

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about how to be

a good community members

Correct the article-noun agreement

good community members

a good community member

show examples

while

Linking Words

others would argue that college is where they should be taught about it.

This

Linking Words

essay would argue that

although

Linking Words

kids

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will learn from their

parents

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school

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is where

children

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start to socialize and make friends. On the one hand, little

kids

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spend most of their time with their family, they do not know what is correct and what is wrong,

the

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and the

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only thing that they do is

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apply

show examples

watch and imitate their

parents

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. So, what the

parents

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do will directly affect

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apply

show examples

the personality and the thoughts of the

kids

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, since the

children

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treat them as

the

Correct article usage

show examples

example. Recent research concluded that around 80% of people’s

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

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are similar to their

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parents’

Correct your spelling

parent’s

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personality

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personalities

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However

Linking Words

, I believe that when

children

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grow up will spend more time at

school

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, so what they have

learn

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learned

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when they were little will be forgotten.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, at

school

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, teachers will teach the pupils about what they can’t do and what is wrong,

avoiding

Verb problem

preventing

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them

carrying

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from carrying

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out those types of activities.

Also

Linking Words

, at

school

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, people start to

socielize

Correct your spelling

socialize

socialise

, and depending on the friends that

one

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

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this

Linking Words

will influence

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apply

show examples

their future, and if they will be good or bad members of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

For instance

Linking Words

, most individuals who carry out crimes and illegal activities started to do it

since

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show examples

high

school

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. I believe that

school

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have a very important role

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show examples

people’s behaviour and the activities that they may carry out. In conclusion,

although

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children

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will listen and imitate their

parents

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, they are more likely to be influenced by actions that people carry out at

school

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since they spend

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most time of the day there, and

that is

Linking Words

why

school

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is the place where

kids

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should be taught how to be a good society member.

elenazheng1211Sat Nov 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed and focused. The main points are supported adequately but could be more coherent in their presentation.

task achievement

The response addresses the task overall, providing clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more focused and the logical structure needs improvement.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a clear and relevant lexical resource, with effective use of vocabulary to express ideas. However, there are some inaccuracies and lack of variety in language use.

grammatical range

The grammar is generally accurate, and there is evidence of a good range of sentence structures. Some errors are present, and more complex structures could be used. Punctuation and sentence clarity could also be improved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

With the development of social media, more and more young people are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The best vway to make roads safer is to make vehicle grivers take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?