IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

وبدون عقوبة الإعدام (عقوبة الإعدام) تصبح حياتنا أقل أمانًا وتتزايد جرائم العنف. عقوبة الإعدام ضرورية للسيطرة على العنف في المجتمع. إلى أي مدى تتفق أو تختلف مع هذا الرأي؟

There is no denying that violent
crimes
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 have increased significantly in recent years. Some people may believe that the
death
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penalty
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 is not the best solution to stop
this
Linking Words
 violence, but the
death
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penalty
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 is obligatory in some cases. ‏
To begin
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 with, many
criminals
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 commit
crimes
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 without thinking because they know that there is a second chance for them. They know that any punishment except the
death
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penalty
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 will not scare them.
Therefore
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, they must fear
death
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 so that the criminal will think before he commits his crime. Some countries impose the
death
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penalty
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,
such
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 as Saudi Arabia, which imposes the
death
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penalty
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 for both murder and rape perpetrators.
Therefore
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, in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, the crime rate is low compared to other countries. The
death
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penalty
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 is intended to serve as a severe warning to those who intend to commit similar
crimes
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, reducing the likelihood of
such
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crimes
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 being repeated in the future.
For example
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,
criminals
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 who make headlines for
crimes
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such
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 as treason, massacres, drug trafficking, etc. will serve as an example to deter other citizens. Of committing the same
crimes
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. A decrease in the number of
criminals
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 will increase community safety, leading to a safer society where people can fully develop intellectually and personally. In conclusion, any society that wants to reduce crime rates and make its environment safer must apply the
death
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penalty
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 to
criminals
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 who deserve it. Making the community a safe place will
also
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 lead to greater gains in the long run.

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task response
Ensure that the arguments are presented in a balanced manner, acknowledging counter-arguments and providing a well-rounded perspective on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are generally well maintained with a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the logical progression of ideas is consistent throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used to express ideas and use more precise and varied language to enhance the essay's depth and complexity.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is adequate, but there are some errors in sentence structure and verb tense usage. Review and revise to ensure greater accuracy and variety in sentence construction.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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