74.With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

#population #cities #people #home #areas #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is argued that an increasing number of individuals are living in small

houses

Use synonyms

or places with no outdoor areas.

This

Linking Words

essay will argue that

this

Linking Words

is a completely negative development because it can cause health problems and there is a lack of privacy. Small

houses

Use synonyms

and homes with no outdoor areas, will cause health problems.

This

Linking Words

is because they have limited

space

Use synonyms

where they can move and if individuals are in

this

Linking Words

situation for a long period of time,

then

Linking Words

they will feel stressed and nervous, and little by little mental health will be damaged.

Also

Linking Words

, because of the lack of fresh air, it is easier for people to get respiratory-related illnesses, and

this

Linking Words

might be infected by the other members living in the

house

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, research done by the United States concluded that in the

last

Linking Words

decades, there has been an increase in respiratory disease cases, and around 30% is related to the environment of the living place of the patients. There is almost no personal

space

Use synonyms

in small

houses

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

is because in some families there is more than one child, so they need to share a room with others, and

this

Linking Words

causes there is no privacy since there is someone else, and they will not show how they really are.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, people living in small

houses

Use synonyms

are uncomfortable inviting friends to their

houses

Use synonyms

because is too small for them to stay.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Spain, kids who live in a small-sized

houses

Use synonyms

never invite friends to their

house

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

, the ones who live in big

houses

Use synonyms

with a garden and swimming pool do invite their friends to their

house

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, living in small

houses

Use synonyms

with no outdoor

space

Use synonyms

may cause individuals to have mental-health-related diseases and it is easier for the illness to spread, as well, there is no personal

space

Use synonyms

for the members of the

house

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

, believe that small

houses

Use synonyms

are a negative development.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Sat Nov 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay addresses the question but lacks depth and clarity. It needs to provide a more thorough analysis on the positive or negative impact of living in small homes. The arguments need to be more clearly presented and supported.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a basic logical structure but needs improvement in the introduction and conclusion. The use of linking devices and transitional phrases is limited, affecting the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates adequate use of vocabulary and there are attempts to use a range of words. However, there are inconsistencies in word choice and some expressions are unclear.

grammatical range

The essay shows a reasonable control of grammar and there is evidence of a variety of sentence structures. However, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and word order, leading to some unclear and awkward sentences.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
some individuals think that lessening polluted environment and accommodation issues by the attention of the government could avoid several health problems. In my opinion, I have opposite view with that belief.
4
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little impact on public health and measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Staying healthy is the main goal of people around the world. Some people argue that in order to improve the health of local public, the best way is to increase the number of local sports amenities. I believe, that taking consideration of other important factors plays a great role for maintaining a good health and overall well being.
5.5
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
An increasing number of married couples around the world choosing to remain childless. The main benefits of not having a child for couples are that they can focus on their careers and have more time for themselves. The main drawbacks are that they could not fit into their peers’ group and have no one to look after them when they get old.
6
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.
Some individuals insist that parents are responsible for educating their children so that they can be good citizens in a social community, whereas others think that schooling is the best way. Although teachers and classmates play an important role to some extent, I think it is basically a job for parents to lead their children to contribute to society.
6
band
In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.
In some societies, there exists a vital reverence for old age, viewing it as a symbol of wisdom, experience, and respect. Conversely, in other cultures, youth is often prioritized and seen as a period of vitality, innovation, and potential. Both perspectives offer unique insights into the values and priorities of different places. This essay will explain these contrasting views and provide a persuasive reason.

74.With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little impact on public health and measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.