74.With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

It is argued that an increasing number of individuals are living in small
houses
or places with no outdoor areas.
This
essay will argue that
this
is a completely negative development because it can cause health problems and there is a lack of privacy. Small
houses
and homes with no outdoor areas, will cause health problems.
This
is because they have limited
space
where they can move and if individuals are in
this
situation for a long period of time,
then
they will feel stressed and nervous, and little by little mental health will be damaged.
Also
, because of the lack of fresh air, it is easier for people to get respiratory-related illnesses, and
this
might be infected by the other members living in the
house
.
For instance
, research done by the United States concluded that in the
last
decades, there has been an increase in respiratory disease cases, and around 30% is related to the environment of the living place of the patients. There is almost no personal
space
in small
houses
,
this
is because in some families there is more than one child, so they need to share a room with others, and
this
causes there is no privacy since there is someone else, and they will not show how they really are.
Furthermore
, people living in small
houses
are uncomfortable inviting friends to their
houses
because is too small for them to stay.
For instance
, in Spain, kids who live in a small-sized
houses
never invite friends to their
house
,
instead
, the ones who live in big
houses
with a garden and swimming pool do invite their friends to their
house
. In conclusion, living in small
houses
with no outdoor
space
may cause individuals to have mental-health-related diseases and it is easier for the illness to spread, as well, there is no personal
space
for the members of the
house
,
therefore
, believe that small
houses
are a negative development.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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task response
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth and clarity. It needs to provide a more thorough analysis on the positive or negative impact of living in small homes. The arguments need to be more clearly presented and supported.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure but needs improvement in the introduction and conclusion. The use of linking devices and transitional phrases is limited, affecting the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates adequate use of vocabulary and there are attempts to use a range of words. However, there are inconsistencies in word choice and some expressions are unclear.
grammatical range
The essay shows a reasonable control of grammar and there is evidence of a variety of sentence structures. However, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and word order, leading to some unclear and awkward sentences.

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