84.Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think the modern world makes people more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some say that in the modern world, individuals are becoming dependent on
others
, Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
others
would argue that the modern world makes Use synonyms
people
more independent. Use synonyms
This
essay will argue that Linking Words
although
Linking Words
people
do ask for more opinions from Use synonyms
others
, humans prefer to do things by themselves.
On the one hand, in the modern era, it is essential to have interaction with Use synonyms
others
, and Use synonyms
this
requires Linking Words
people
to rely on Use synonyms
others
. Use synonyms
Also
, Linking Words
people
depend on their Use synonyms
parents
to have an education or look for a job, and when these Use synonyms
people
are adults, Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
their children and their Rephrase
apply
parents
will rely on them. Use synonyms
For example
, the price of education, housing, basic needs, all these are paid by the Linking Words
parents
until the individuals get older. Use synonyms
However
, I believe that in most places Linking Words
people
are trying to live by themselves.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, in many countries, young children are trying to support their education and living costs. Normally when Linking Words
people
start studying at university will prefer to live alone, far from their family, so they can start experiencing life without their Use synonyms
parents
. As well, now Use synonyms
parents
will allow their children to pick the school or job that they like, without intervening in the case. Use synonyms
For instance
, many Linking Words
people
these days will choose a career that they like, Use synonyms
instead
of what their Linking Words
parents
recommend to them. In my opinion, now Use synonyms
people
are more capable of telling their opinion to Use synonyms
others
, no matter what the Use synonyms
others
think, which causes independence.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
when Linking Words
people
are still small need to depend on their Use synonyms
parents
, when they grow up, they will have their own thoughts and will get independent from their families, and Use synonyms
that is
why, I think that in the modern era Linking Words
people
are getting more independent.Use synonyms
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant arguments, but lacks in-depth analysis and supporting examples. Make sure to provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, but the flow of ideas could be improved by using more cohesive devices and clearer transitions between paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay displays a fair range of vocabulary and language use, but there is room for improvement in using more varied and precise vocabulary to express ideas and opinions effectively.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the essay. Try to focus on sentence structure, verb tenses, and word forms to enhance the overall grammatical accuracy of your writing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?