84.Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think the modern world makes people more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some say that in the modern world, individuals are becoming dependent on
others
, while
others
would argue that the modern world makes people
more independent. This
essay will argue that although
people
do ask for more opinions from others
, humans prefer to do things by themselves.
On the one hand, in the modern era, it is essential to have interaction with others
, and this
requires people
to rely on others
. Also
, people
depend on their parents
to have an education or look for a job, and when these people
are adults, then
their children and their Rephrase
apply
parents
will rely on them. For example
, the price of education, housing, basic needs, all these are paid by the parents
until the individuals get older. However
, I believe that in most places people
are trying to live by themselves.
On the other hand
, in many countries, young children are trying to support their education and living costs. Normally when people
start studying at university will prefer to live alone, far from their family, so they can start experiencing life without their parents
. As well, now parents
will allow their children to pick the school or job that they like, without intervening in the case. For instance
, many people
these days will choose a career that they like, instead
of what their parents
recommend to them. In my opinion, now people
are more capable of telling their opinion to others
, no matter what the others
think, which causes independence.
In conclusion, although
when people
are still small need to depend on their parents
, when they grow up, they will have their own thoughts and will get independent from their families, and that is
why, I think that in the modern era people
are getting more independent.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant arguments, but lacks in-depth analysis and supporting examples. Make sure to provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, but the flow of ideas could be improved by using more cohesive devices and clearer transitions between paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay displays a fair range of vocabulary and language use, but there is room for improvement in using more varied and precise vocabulary to express ideas and opinions effectively.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the essay. Try to focus on sentence structure, verb tenses, and word forms to enhance the overall grammatical accuracy of your writing.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?