IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. Do You Think The Benefits Of Living Away From Home Outweigh The Disadvantages?

#university #students #families #home #universities #places
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Some
university
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students
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 are believed to stay with their
parents
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while
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 others consider living away from home. I strongly think that there are more benefits to living with
parents
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 than to living alone.
Students
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 can utilize their
parents
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' support to extirpate many unnecessary errands.
To begin
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 with, many
students
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 consider staying with their
parents
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 during the span of their studies
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
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.
This
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 helps them to focus more on their academic growth and learning by keeping their mental health stable.
For instance
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, data collected by the Ottawa government showed that many
students
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 suffer from mental disorders
due to
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 living alone.
Furthermore
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, it is hard to manage multiple coursework, job timings and errands during the time of
university
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. Commutes to the
university
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 can be managed by vehicle available in the house. Which can be one of the problems for a person living away from the home. One of the other advantages is
money
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 management. More
money
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 can be saved compared to living alone.
For example
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, a student living alone will spend more
money
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 on food, rent, and commute. Rent and commute are the most expensive things in
this
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 era. Staying with
parents
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 can save a lot of
money
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 in regard to
such
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 factors. Which will allow more investments at a very young age.
Moreover
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,
such
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 investments can grow their wealth at an extremely fast pace.
To conclude
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, I see no argument in
this
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 topic of living with family during an individual's academic career. There are many advantages of living with
parents
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. As discussed in the essay health,
money
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 and investment can be easily managed.
Whereas
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, living solely gives you a single advantage
that is
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 privacy.
Therefore
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, the advantages of living alone are more than the disadvantages.
Submitted by Vyom Trivedi on

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance. State your thesis explicitly and ensure it responds directly to the question.
coherence cohesion
Structuring your essay with a clear, logical flow is important. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by explanations or examples.
task response
Provide specific, detailed examples to support your points. Vague references weaken the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop your conclusion to restate your thesis and main points. It should provide a clear end to the discussion and not introduce new ideas.
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