The probability of an offender committing a crime after serving the first punishment has increased. What is the reason for this and how can this problem be tackled?

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this

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era, the rate of crimes surpassed.

This

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happens

due to

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many reasons

such

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as lack of education, manners and money.

However

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, the rate of an offender committing a crime after they spend their first period of punishment has surpassed. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on the reason, and how to decline

this

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issue.

To begin

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with, the jailbirds when jails. They do not receive the good treatment. They are involved with other criminals,

thus

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this

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will increase their criminal awareness.

Moreover

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, the concept of prison is not just some breaking laws. It is a place where they obtain rehabilitation.

However

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, in many areas, they do not get that.

For instance

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, In prisons like Mexico, Beru and Chilie, convicts who attend jails are integrated with gangs. These gangs make them commit other crimes. The

government

Use synonyms

leave them

instead

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of ruining these organisations.

In addition

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, the dearth of jobs and the society opinion about them. These things made them not have an opportunity to get jobs.

Hence

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, they reintegrate into crimes again. One possible solution would be that

government

Use synonyms

should make programs. The job of these programs is to rehab the prisoners to make them a good person again.

For instance

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, In Egypt, the

government

Use synonyms

implemented to make the inmates involved in distinct organisations and industries. They made them work in agriculture and manufacturing.

This

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assisted them when they finish their period they will be able to work again.

Furthermore

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, The

government

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should raise the people's awareness about these people. They are human-like and deserve a second chance. One of the sparked instances is that in Finland, convicts can only stay for the have of the period If they illustrate good behaviour. In conclusion, there will be a debate on

this

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argument. The

government

Use synonyms

and the citizens should unite together to help these people. They deserve a second chance only if they are guided in the right way.

mohannadsmeThu Aug 08 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic well and provides good solutions for the identified problem. However, it lacks clarity in some areas. Ensure that each point is clearly explained and directly supports your main argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow between your points. Some sentences and paragraphs need better connectors for smoother transitions. Work on making each paragraph more coherent by linking ideas logically.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are strong and summarize the argument well. You have clearly stated the topic and provided a clear stance.

supported main points

You have provided relevant examples, such as the situation in Egypt and Finland, to support your arguments. This adds depth to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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The probability of an offender committing a crime after serving the first punishment has increased. What is the reason for this and how can this problem be tackled?

Your opinion

Online classes make conventional classrooms unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studing for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

With the rise of the internet more and more people are getting their news from social media platforms. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?