IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the provided bar chart illustrates how many peoole drinked coffe and bought tea as well as drinking habits in five Australian towns.

the provided bar chart illustrates how many peoole drinked coffe and bought tea as well as drinking habits in five Australian towns.
the bar graph depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the amount of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea which were the main habits of residents
of
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purchasing and consuming in five different parts of Australia over the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks after analysing the graph it is clearly seen that the five cities excluding
the
Correct article usage
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Adelaide had crossed 50% of the pupils who went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea
whereas
Linking Words
Adelaid
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 has the lowest
in
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apply
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proportion approximately equal to 40%
in contrast
Linking Words
 people who
brought
Correct your spelling
bought
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a
Change the article
an
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 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 from the cities of Brisbane Adelaide and
hobart
Change the capitalization
Hobart
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 had major figure close to 50%
while
Linking Words
 that brought from Sydney and Melbourne had lower in the ratio
furthermore
Linking Words
, the percentage of fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 bought from Sydney
melbourne
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Melbourne
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 and Hobert show an inclined trend touching almost 40% or above whilst Brisban and Adelaide had
few
Replace the word
fewer
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 visitors than the rest of the cities in Australia nearly equal to 35%
overall
Linking Words
, it is vividly seen that Melbourne had
a
Change the article
the
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 highest number of people who went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea whilst for
the
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fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
brisban
Change the capitalization
Brisban
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 city had
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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in
Change preposition
apply
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percentage

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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