Some people think that there are benefits in going to private secondary schools. Others feel that private schools can have negative effects on the society. Discuss both the view and give your opinion?
It is often believed that private secondary
schools
provide more benefits Use synonyms
while
some people think they cause negative consequences on society. I partially agree with Linking Words
this
, for Linking Words
students
are able to gain special and advanced learning Use synonyms
experiences
regardless of some potential harm to create a social disparity.
On the one hand, private secondary Use synonyms
schools
are advantageous as they offer unique programs to enhance Use synonyms
students
' talents. Use synonyms
In other words
, they can gain more stimulating Linking Words
experiences
than public Use synonyms
schools
to meet Use synonyms
diverse
needs of pupils. Correct article usage
the diverse
For instance
, studying in Australia is Linking Words
a
part of a program of Kunei Private Change the article
apply
School
in Japan for Use synonyms
students
specializing in biology to promote their understanding of various marine creatures in the world. Use synonyms
This
will be a spectacular experience, which cannot be easily offered by public Linking Words
schools
with lower budgets, allowing them to learn not only how geography affects marine life but Use synonyms
also
different scientific methods for experiments.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, private Linking Words
schools
have a detrimental effect on society as they can lead to a growing disparity between the rich and the poor. Indeed, only wealthy Use synonyms
students
can afford to pay a higher educational fee for private Use synonyms
schools
, making a difference in academic Use synonyms
experiences
among young people. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
while
private Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
students
have diverse learning Use synonyms
experiences
by studying abroad and fieldwork, public Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
students
are often provided with fewer choices as public Use synonyms
schools
tend to focus more on basic knowledge Use synonyms
as well as
equal learning opportunities. Linking Words
Thus
, a superior experience of learning allows private Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
students
to be more employed than public Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
students
, causing a serious social division.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that private Use synonyms
schools
are beneficial as they provide more stimulating learning opportunities with more interactive and practical programs. Use synonyms
However
, it can cause a gap between the wealthy and financially disadvantaged Linking Words
students
, making it more difficult for the latter to gain employment.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and ideas within paragraphs are presented in a clear, organized manner. Using signposting words can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Diversify sentence structures and vocabulary to maintain reader interest and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
Ensure that each point made is fully developed with detailed support. In the second body paragraph, providing additional examples or data to back up the negative effects of social disparity could strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Expand more on your personal opinion in the conclusion. This could help make your stance clearer and stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively setting the stage and wrapping up the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant specific examples, effectively illustrating the benefits and drawbacks of private secondary schools.
task achievement
There is a comprehensive response to the task with a clear indication of your opinion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.