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Band 5.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
A plethora of people think that the major problem concerning
the
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nature nowadays refers to the extinction of some of the flora and fauna representatives,
while
 others believe that there are other sufficient difficulties, like
the
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air pollution and the violated ozone layer. I agree with the latter statement, as it concerns every creature on the planet and could lead to catastrophic consequences. On the one hand, if some animal or plant
species
Add a verb
species are
species were
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 extinct,
this
 will break the balance in their areas and habitats.
Moreover
, it will lead to major unpleasant changes in the environmental world.
For instance
, in 2020, there was
a
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research about a specific fish, called salmon, which lives in the North Pole's waters and whose population
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 dramatically decreasing through the years caused
by
Change preposition
of
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 overfishing. Scientists from the National Finland University say that if
this
 trend continues, salmon will extinct and
this
 will lead to the death of many other animals who will starve without their main source of food.
On the other hand
, worldwide problems like carbon dioxide contamination and, resulting from it, the violation of the ozone layer are endangering our entire ecosystem and are far more dangerous in both short and long terms.
For instance
, doctor Stuart Bear from
the
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Boston University said in 2021 that there is s 65% increase in skin cancer among people all over the world because the quantity of harmful sun rays, passing through the thinner ozone layer, is growing immensely. In conclusion, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 the loss of species and air pollution are both major problems for our environment, but the second one creates risks in many more areas in our lives.
Submitted by delulcheva on

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Task Achievement
Develop a more balanced argument that acknowledges the importance of both views. Consider giving equal weight to both sides of the argument
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transitions and cohesive devices to improve the coherence of the essay. Consider using signposting language to guide the reader through your ideas
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to include a wider variety of words and expressions. Look for opportunities to use more precise and academic language
Grammatical Range
Vary your sentence structures and use a mix of complex and simple sentences to showcase your grammatical range. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of tenses

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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