Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. It is a positive or negative development?

With the rapid

development

and diverse availability of

products

nowadays, advertisements are appearing more and more frequently for the purpose of helping those items access the consumers

Change preposition

with

show examples

ease. From my perspective, I definitely see

this

as a positive sign because advertising helps

people

update new

products

and supports the increasing economy. First of all, advertising

development

brings convenience to residents when updating

products

. To explain, advertisements are often broadcast by brands via different forms

such

as TV, social media or large screens on the streets, where

people

can easily see them.

Therefore

, residents will have manifold options and conveniently make decisions on

products

that are suitable for themselves.

In addition

, advertisements result in

people

understanding the uses of

products

as well as

how to use them without having to try the items.

In contrast

, if

people

do not know about

products

, when they go to buy things they will have to hesitate a lot. Another benefit of product advertising is supporting economic growth. Advertising often has eye-catching visuals so

this

stimulates

people

’s desire to experience the product. Thereby, supply and demand are strengthened and economic exchange develops.

Moreover

, advertising

also

increases revenue for businesses and promotes scale expansion.

Furthermore

, advertising enhances the

development

of media and creates jobs for models

as well as

videographers. In a nutshell, I am convinced that advertising popularity is a positive

development

because it supports residents’ lives and promotes economic growth

Submitted by huoglan10 on Fri Dec 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, which is good. However, you should work on creating more cohesive paragraphs with clearer topic sentences and transitions. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

You provided a balanced view and addressed both sides of the argument as to why advertising might be considered a positive development. To further improve, you could enrich your main points with more detailed and specific examples, which would help in illustrating your views more vividly and enhancing the overall effectiveness of your task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
economic growth
provide information
awareness
job opportunities
manipulative
misleading
consumerism
materialism
invade
personal space

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Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. It is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people claim that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. While others think that they can establish a minority community instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

"Many animal species in the world has become extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protects these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on problems of human being. Discuss both view and give your opinion"

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences and only governmental actions can solve the problem. Do you agree views and express your own opinion

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling.