IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
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A plethora of people think that the major problem concerning nature nowadays refers to the extinction of some of the flora and fauna representatives,
while
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 others believe that there are other sufficient difficulties, like air pollution and the violated ozone layer. I agree with the latter statement, as it concerns every creature on the planet and could lead to catastrophic consequences. On the one hand, if some animal or plant species are extinct,
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 will break the balance in their areas and habitats.
Moreover
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, it will lead to major unpleasant changes in the environmental world.
For instance
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, in 2020, there was research about a specific fish, called salmon, which lives in the North Pole's waters and whose population has been dramatically decreasing through the years caused
by
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of
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 overfishing. Scientists from the National Finland University say that if
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 trend continues, salmon will extinct and
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 will lead to the death of many other animals who will starve without their main source of food.
On the other hand
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, worldwide problems like carbon dioxide contamination and, resulting from it, the violation of the ozone layer are endangering our entire ecosystem and are far more dangerous in both short and long terms.
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, doctor Stuart Bear from Boston University said in 2021 that there is s 65% increase in skin cancer among people all over the world because the quantity of harmful sun rays, passing through the thinner ozone layer, is growing immensely. In conclusion, in my opinion, the loss of species and air pollution are both major problems for our environment, but the second one creates risks in many more areas of our lives.
Submitted by delulcheva on

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task response
Ensure that each main point is clearly supported with evidence/examples.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Consider using a broader variety of vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Work on using more complex sentence structures and a variety of grammatical forms.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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