Some people argue that we have to think twice before deciding to eat fast food because of some health problems it may cause, while others believe that this kind of food is a good choice for those with a very busy life. Which opinion do you agree with?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely believed that people need to consider carefully before choosing to eat fast
food
due to
some
health
problems it may cause. Personally, I strongly agree with
this
view for a variety of reasons. First of all, fast
food
can cause / causes dangerous diseases as recommended by new articles, doctors and experts.
This
is because the ingredients in fast
food
are high in fat and sugar, causing many negative effects on
health
. In fact, fast
food
is the cause of obesity and other chronic diseases
such
as depression, fatigue, weakened digestive system and psychological issues.
For example
,
according to
doctors Phan Hong Dieu at Ha Noi Medical University, the nutritional composition of these foods often causes disturbances in the intestinal flora, promoting inflammatory responses in the body.
Furthermore
, fast
food
is mostly frozen
that is
refrigerated for many days and cooked immediately when someone buys it, which will negatively
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
our
health
.
This
means that
although
frozen
food
can be preserved for longer than a week without spoiling if frozen for too long, the
food
will gradually lose nutrients and will no longer have much value when eaten.
For example
, many patients have suffered from
food
poisoning
due to
eating expired
food
that has been frozen for a long time by restaurants that do not ensure
food
quality. In conclusion, it’s commonly assumed that having fast
food
can bring about harmful effects on
health
. In my opinion, the state needs to issue embargoes on foods of unknown origin and regularly check
food
quality and safety to avoid serious consequences for the citizens.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, but it should explore both views presented in the task to fully meet the response requirement. Develop the argument for why some believe fast food is a suitable option for those with busy lives to demonstrate a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is clear, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, work on providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and improve transitions between ideas to enhance coherence.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: