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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of international migrants in five countries between 2000 and 2020. The table shows the percentage of migrants in each country’s population in 2020.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total number of international migrants in five countries between 2000 and 2020. The table shows the percentage of migrants in each country’s population in 2020.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph shows how the amount of international
migrants
Use synonyms
 in Germany, India, Russia, the UK and the USA has changed from 2000 to 2020,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage
share
Use synonyms
 of
migrants
Use synonyms
 in the
population
Use synonyms
 in 2020 is shown in the table.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of foreign people increased in the USA, the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 and Germany, where the proportion of
migrants
Use synonyms
 was higher. The two countries with the lowest
share
Use synonyms
 of foreign-born citizens were Russia and India, whose amounts remained the same and decreased, respectively.
It is clear that
Linking Words
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 countries witnessed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their foreign community. Notably, the largest one was always in the USA, where the number rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by approximately 15 million people.
Although
Linking Words
, the country with the largest
share
Use synonyms
 (14.7%) of
migrants
Use synonyms
 in the national
population
Use synonyms
 in 2020 was Germany, immediately followed by the UK with its
population
Use synonyms
 made up of 14% foreigners, around 5 million
migrants
Use synonyms
 more than 20 years later
In contrast
Linking Words
, after 20 years, Russia had the same number of them
while
Linking Words
India'
Change noun form
India
show examples
s
Correct your spelling
's
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
slightly declined, having the smallest
share
Use synonyms
 in the national
population
Use synonyms
 in 2020 (0.4%)

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words migrants, share, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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