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Band 6.5

To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it's important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not taught history?

#people #value #world #effect #children #history
Nowadays, more and more
people
 are sure that technical subjects have a greater value in curriculum rather than humanitarian lessons
such
 as
history
.
While
 other
people
 trust that
history
 is one of the subjects that must have a place in compulsory lectures. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the necessity of passing
history
 lessons and the possible drawbacks in the case of skipping
this
 course.
To begin
 with,
history
 improves human perception and broadens the horizons of understanding other cultures. The reason leans in the roots of the Past classes,
such
 as by knowing the past of some ethnicity,
people
 can pass their traditions to new generations. Another important fact is that
this
 lesson prevents
people
 from making the same mistakes.
For example
, if they were aware of the outcome of their action beforehand they would be guided by the decisions that had been made by others in the past.
As a result
, fewer hasty judgments would be made.
On the other hand
, youngsters do not pay enough attention to
history
 as a subject because of the feeling of uselessness.
For instance
, if they prepare for being enrolled at the engineering faculty, there is no need to gain high scores on the
history
 exam.
Consequently
, juveniles grew up with no
further
 development in the field of the past.
As a result
, when they become adults, even with successful careers, they will have a very poor understanding of decision-making. The best example is our territories in Shusha Khanate
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 occupied several times since the 17th century. But for the unawareness of
History
, our lands would not been under the enemies' feet for more than 30 years. In conclusion,
although
 Complex disciplines might be more popular for future career formation,
History
 should always have a place in the syllabus, as ignorance of the latter one mentioned could cause the consequences that were stated above.
Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph contributes to the overall argument and that the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the ideas presented to fully address the task prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical consciousness
  • cultural heritage
  • heritage preservation
  • forewarned is forearmed
  • historical figures
  • technological advancements
  • analytical skills
  • cultural awareness
  • progression of society
  • historical context
  • intellectual development
  • social cohesion
  • global perspective
  • past atrocities
  • critical thinking
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