Many people think that the fast food industry is responsible for health problems in society, while others believe that individuals are responsible for their own health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #food #industry #health #society #individuals

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It is certainly true that many individuals think that the fast

food

industry is to be blamed for the

health

problems in society,

while

others believe

otherwise

. I have discussed both views and

give

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

my opinion below. The fast

food

community is the main reason for

health

issues around the world.

This

is because more fast

food

restaurants rather than healthy options.

As a result

, more

humans

tend to go to these restaurants to enjoy, and feast on unhealthy and oily

food

Due to

this

, people's physique and mental

health

deteriorates and it takes a toll on the

overall

life expectancy of

humans

too which is alarming.

For example

, an increasing trend has been observed related to

health

issues in public comparing many countries in the past decade

due to

fast

food

industries.

However

humans

are

also

to be blamed for the intake of

such

dirty

food

Besides

restaurants, we order

food

too, on our own will which is worse as we are doing

this

to ourselves.

As a consequence

, our mental, physical and social

health

decreases even more. In contrast, people who eat homemade

food

are more energetic and happy in life.

For example

, in the Covid-19 pandemic, everything was closed, including the fast

food

industry. During

this

, India saw the highest rise in the popularity of vegetables and diet

food

. In my opinion,

humans

are to be blamed for their

health

. We can take care of ourselves with the right mindset and avoid any kind of outdoor restaurant.

Submitted by ahv on Tue Jul 30 2024

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task achievement

Expand on the points made with more specific examples and data to strongly support the arguments. This will enhance the task response criteria and demonstrate a deeper understanding.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Better linking phrases will help to demonstrate a clearer and more logical structure to your argument.

task achievement

Provide a more balanced discussion on the opposing views before reaching a conclusion. This ensures equal weightage to both perspectives and strengthens the overall task response.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the essay's requirements.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay. This helps in maintaining a clear and logical flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Many people think that the fast food industry is responsible for health problems in society, while others believe that individuals are responsible for their own health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In today’s, we still greatly value our artists (such as musicians, painters and writers) even now is age of advanced science and technology. Why is it? How arts improve people’s live?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?