"Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities, such as helping at home or work. Others argue that children should be free to enjoy their lives outside of school.

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It is often suggested that individuals ranging from toddlers to teenagers should all contribute equally to household chores,
while
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others contend that
this
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would hinder their growth and impede their freedom to enjoy life. On one hand, the primary rationale behind
this
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approach is that increased responsibility encourages greater maturity and self-reliance. Specifically, by actively participating in household chores,
children
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develop skills like time management and organization, which are essential for their future.
For example
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, teenagers who lack the ability to tidy their rooms and keep things in order may be perceived as childish by their peers.
This
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vividly illustrates why equal responsibilities should be given to everyone.
On the other hand
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,
children
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should primarily focus on exploration, play, and personal development. In their early years, it is crucial for
children
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to engage in activities that promote their physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Furthermore
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, carefree enjoyment and unstructured playtime allow
children
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to discover true happiness, enhance creativity, and develop their imagination.
Moreover
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, it helps in building their social network by interacting with different individuals without constraints.
For instance
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,
children
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who enjoy their childhood often have more developed minds than those burdened with responsibilities.
Thus
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, the aforementioned points substantiate the argument for allowing
children
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to be free from work. In conclusion,
while
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some argue that
children
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should perform equal household duties regardless of age, others believe that adolescents should be given unstructured playtime to develop their minds. From my viewpoint, the latter view should be supported, as it will aid in instilling cognitive and intellectual skills."
Submitted by mtarun663 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that you fully address the prompt by providing a balanced discussion on both viewpoints before presenting a conclusion that reflects your personal stance. Include more varied and detailed examples to support your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by ensuring a clear and logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to help link ideas across the essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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