"Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities, such as helping at home or work. Others argue that children should be free to enjoy their lives outside of school.

It is often suggested that individuals ranging from toddlers to teenagers should all contribute equally to household chores,
while
others contend that
this
would hinder their growth and impede their freedom to enjoy life. On one hand, the primary rationale behind
this
approach is that increased responsibility encourages greater maturity and self-reliance. Specifically, by actively participating in household chores,
children
develop skills like time management and organization, which are essential for their future.
For example
, teenagers who lack the ability to tidy their rooms and keep things in order may be perceived as childish by their peers.
This
vividly illustrates why equal responsibilities should be given to everyone.
On the other hand
,
children
should primarily focus on exploration, play, and personal development. In their early years, it is crucial for
children
to engage in activities that promote their physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Furthermore
, carefree enjoyment and unstructured playtime allow
children
to discover true happiness, enhance creativity, and develop their imagination.
Moreover
, it helps in building their social network by interacting with different individuals without constraints.
For instance
,
children
who enjoy their childhood often have more developed minds than those burdened with responsibilities.
Thus
, the aforementioned points substantiate the argument for allowing
children
to be free from work. In conclusion,
while
some argue that
children
should perform equal household duties regardless of age, others believe that adolescents should be given unstructured playtime to develop their minds. From my viewpoint, the latter view should be supported, as it will aid in instilling cognitive and intellectual skills."
Submitted by mtarun663 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that you fully address the prompt by providing a balanced discussion on both viewpoints before presenting a conclusion that reflects your personal stance. Include more varied and detailed examples to support your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by ensuring a clear and logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to help link ideas across the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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