At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days to proportion of the young generation is bigger than the grey age in the same society.

While

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there are irrefutable reasons in terms of merits in

this

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resolution. I personally vote for drawbacks

due to

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diminishing elderly's experience and youngsters are not suitable for important jobs.

To begin

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with, the disadvantages of

this

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notion are undeniable.

In other words

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, the high rate of the young population can diminish elderly people.

whereas

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, they are the most sophisticated nation that can educate offspring but there is no empty seat for them because of the new generation. To cite an example, in Iran most teachers are young and lack experience

while

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most of the outstanding teachers are retired and can not share their knowledge.

Hence

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, some positions that are currently run by young groups of people require mature folks who have enough knowledge and experience in order to implement them in politics and the economy.

otherwise

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, societies will have too many obstacles in their way. The advantages,

however

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, are not undeniable. In fact, the young generation is more energetic and passionate about life.

Consequently

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, they can be used effectively which is beneficial for any country to have a considerable number of human resources.

Furthermore

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, they can be more productive than the elderly community because of the environment that they have grown up in and their accessibility to cutting-edge technology.

As a result

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, they can use all

this

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information to create something new or solve the problems that their ancestors were unable to.

However

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this

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notion was simply overlooked and they did not pay attention to the unparalleled merits that the grey age can have.

To sum up

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, in modern times, the young population has increased

in contrast

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with elderly people.

Although

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there are magnificent benefits to

this

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notion. I firmly vote for demerits because of the exacerbating impact of ignorance on the sophisticated elderly and they are not trustworthy for every job.

mirhashemim7Mon Nov 13 2023

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Task Achievement

There is a noticeable attempt to address the prompt, but the response at times is repetitive and lacks full development of ideas. Make sure to expand on your main points with clear, developed arguments and examples to support each view.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay could benefit from a clearer organizational structure, with well-defined paragraphs for each main point. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The lexical resource is limited, with some inappropriate word choices and evident repetition of vocabulary. Work on widening your vocabulary range and employing synonyms to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Variety in sentence structures is somewhat limited, and there are several grammatical errors that can impede understanding. Practice using a mix of complex and simple sentences to demonstrate a broader grammatical range.

15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cities, people are choosing cars instead of bicycles, while in other cities riding bikes is replacing cars. Why is this the case? Which development do you think is better?

People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon?

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?