IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that government should provide funds to the sportsman while other opine that private institutions should support them. Do you agreeor disagree

#people #government #funds #sportsman #opine #institutions #support #agreeor
There is no doubt that sportsmen play a vital role in showing the strength of a bucolic.
While
 some people opine that the regime should bear the cost of them, others argue that individual businesses should contribute to the costs. I strongly support the former statement. Those who advocate private institutes should carry the cost of the sportsmen might argue that it is their responsibility to help their own homey in different situations as their income source is their own communities.
Moreover
, their sponsorships help them to reach the public which can play as a marketing tool.
Furthermore
, the state has little funds to contribute to play after investing in the development of the province.
For example
, in developing countries, like Bangladesh and Pakistan, the primary priority is the improvement of infrastructure.
Therefore
, they are unable to provide funds to the athletes.
In contrast
, companies have little consideration for their rustic development.
Thereafter
, they can share a part of their profit in athletics.
On the other hand
, the government should make a budget for different plays of its community. Physical fitness is important for people. The administration is responsible for confirming the resources of
this
 fitness.
Additionally
, any type of play provides refreshments for players and spectators. If the authority ensures
this
 refreshment, both players and spectators will get the benefit.
Thereafter
, the authority should ensure the related facilities.
This
,
however
, indirectly helps it to get favour in the upcoming election, especially in the case of a democratic homey.
For instance
, India is one of them. Every rolling party takes
this
 advantage. Increasing foreign income is another point to consider. Players earn a lot of money from different countries by proving their strengths. In conclusion, it can be said that as the regime is taking direct benefits, like revenue, it should provide the funds. Inversely, a businessman cannot avoid their responsibility because they are
also
 indirectly beneficial to marketing.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure the essay directly responds to the task prompt. Expand on the points presented to provide a more comprehensive argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transition words to create a more cohesive flow between ideas. Ensure each paragraph relates to the main topic and supports the overall argument.
Lexical Resource
Work on using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more clearly. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure a variety of sentence types. Review the appropriate use of verb tenses and grammatical structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: