Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that specific old
buildings
are more valuable to preserve than other ones. In my opinion, only those that hold history and benefit should be conserved.
First of all, I believe that old buildings
that contain historic moments should be taken care of as a priority. To clarify, old establishments with history could be too important to demolish. It could have memories of a whole generation. For example
, the iconic temple Taj Mahal in India is a record of its beauty and its complex architecture. Other monuments, such
as churches, mosques, etc consist of historical importance.
Secondly
, preserving particular old establishments can contribute to profits to
the local community. To explain, Change preposition
for
buildings
that give a sense of heritage that has been going on for generations could create discern beauty and peace. Moreover
, it might attract tourists to visit and appreciate the cultural value. This
could boost the local economic opportunities. For instance
, public buildings
made of marble or cobblestone or even a small residential area mainly surrounded by nature, could allure investors and civilians and make large sums of profit.
In conclusion, although
some structures don't hold value and importance, however
, many of them have links to the past and could hold memories of a certain era. Therefore
, these structures should be carefully selected and prioritized to maintain their inherent worth by the government.Submitted by amnahazfar03 on
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introduction conclusion present
Make sure that the introduction sets the context for the discussion and clearly presents the viewpoint or argument that is being made. The introduction here does well in stating the opinion, but could offer more background on why the topic is of contention or its relevance.
supported main points
Work on developing clear topic sentences for each paragraph that directly relate to the task question. While the provided sentences do introduce the content of the paragraph, they could be more focused and specific to improve clarity.
complete response
The essay must consistently address the task throughout. The provided response does discuss suitability for preservation based on certain criteria but occasionally makes assertions without fully developing the justification or exploring contrasting perspectives.
logical structure
Ensure that the essay maintains a high degree of coherence and cohesion. Utilize a range of cohesive devices and structure the essay in a way that logically flows from one idea to another. The essay here needs to further refine this aspect, particularly in terms of paragraph transitions and internal cohesion within paragraphs.
clear comprehensive ideas
Provide clear, comprehensive ideas that adequately extend and support the main points. In some areas of the essay, there is room for more in-depth explanation and analysis. Developing your main ideas with a broader range of detail can enhance the quality of the response.
relevant specific examples
Include fully elaborated and directly relevant examples. The examples provided are good but could be better connected to the argument and further developed to illustrate the point more robustly. More specificity in examples would lend greater support to the arguments being made.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.