Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Nowadays, children have a great tendency to spend as much time as possible on their phones, and they tend to play online games or chat with their friends on social media. I consider

this

habit pretty harmful and disadvantageous

due to

the reasons which will be discussed in

this

essay.

Firstly

, in terms of the reasons behind

this

trend, I should mention the fact that

this

new technology has been built in a way to be appealing and attractive for children. They have access to a wide range of information, pictures, applications and many other exciting features, and it is not surprising that they like to spend time and explore these sparkling aspects thoroughly.

Secondly

, kids do not experience outdoor activities the same as in the past. They are imprisoned in the apartments, and they don’t have much tangible communication with their peers.

As a result

, they tend to stay indoors and relate with their friends through cell phones.

Moreover

, in the

last

few years, the usage of the internet and mobile phones has increased dramatically, and it is

due to

the COVID-19 pandemic. Throughout that era, juveniles were deprived of real classrooms, and they were locked in their houses.

As a result

, they are unaccustomed to face-to-face relationships or physical exercise. To put it in a nutshell,

this

phenomenon stems from so many fundamental and basic causes which we need to identify and erase. As a whole,

this

is a negative development and lead to more isolated human beings in the near future.

Submitted by mehrasa.elahian on Mon Nov 13 2023

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coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful.

Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Scientists found that most crimes are committed by people who lack education. Some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to provide prisoners with education because it will help them find a job when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?