Student should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass the exam, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that
students
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should focus on studying academic subjects to pass the exam,
however
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, learning housework
skills
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,
such
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as cooking or crafting, are not worthwhile at school. I strongly disagree with
this
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notion, and
this
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essay will discuss the necessity of housework
skills
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while
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presenting my perspectives.
To begin
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with, one compelling argument in favour of my stance is that nowadays, relatively one of the major family structures is a double-income family so a large percentage of children have not experienced
such
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activities;
hence
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, instructional settings are essential for them to live alone in the long future.
For example
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, in some countries prioritising academic achievement over non-academic activities, like China.
This
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is widely acknowledged that when these
students
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study abroad, they tend to find it challenging to live without parental support since parents eliminate housework from children's daily lives to focus on studying, and
students
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have not experienced it.
Moreover
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, in today's society, a number of people have multiple careers to seek stability in their lives.
This
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partly means that enrolling in a prestigious university with intellectual knowledge no longer ensures stability;
therefore
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, having multiple
skills
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can be more beneficial for
students
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. One of the examples is that once
students
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learn fundamental knowledge of crafting at school, they may develop the skill and ultimately create their personal brands in the extended time because individuals easily have access to online lectures whenever they want, which helps enhance unique
skills
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. In conclusion, In my opinion, I firmly disagree with eliminating non-academic
skills
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because these
skills
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are vital when people start living alone and ultimately help build
students
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' careers in the future.

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improvement
While the essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, try to develop main points with more depth and specific examples to further support your arguments.
improvement
Consider balancing the essay with counterarguments to show the complexity of the topic and make your argument stronger.
content
The introduction clearly states the writer's position and outlines the main argument of the essay.
structure
Logical and organized structure is present throughout the essay, with paragraphs dedicated to specific points.
content
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's perspective and reinforces the main points discussed.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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