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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table shows data about underground railway system in six major cities with data opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in million

The table shows data about underground railway system in six major cities with data opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in million
#data #railway #system #six #cities #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #million
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The given figure presents information about
underground
Correct article usage
the underground
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railway
Use synonyms
 system in three
categorries
Correct your spelling
categories
 including the
number
Use synonyms
 of
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 per year in
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
Use synonyms
London
Change noun form
London's
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underground
Capitalize word
Underground
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railway
Use synonyms
 is the
eldest
Correct your spelling
oldest
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 and the longest route,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 the
number
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 of passengers per year in
Tokyo
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 is the highest.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
London
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, Paris, and
Tokyo
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 are the three eldest
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railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
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 which
Add a missing verb
were establiched
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establiched
Correct your spelling
established
 in 1863, 1900, and 1927, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the latest is from Los Angeles. The route in
London
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place
Change the verb form
places
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 the highest
number
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also
Linking Words
 with almost 400
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
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. Meanwhile, the second place is in Paris (199) which
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
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 than
Tokyo
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 (155) and Washington DC (126).
However
Linking Words
, the shortest
railway
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 is in Kyoto and Los Angeles, at 11 and 28 each.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of people who use
underground
Add an article
the underground
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 train in
Tokyo
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 is 1927 which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it the highest. Following that, there is 1191
of
Change preposition
apply
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Paris society travel with it,
whereas
Linking Words
London
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 only
775
Add a missing verb
has 775
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 passengers. There is a similar
number
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 of them in Kyoto and Los Angeles,
which accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
Change preposition
for
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at
Change preposition
for
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 around 50.
Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words railway, number, london, tokyo with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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