IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries. And it benefits us. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#population #people #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Mostly human
populaloin
Correct your spelling
population
 of our planet
are consist
Wrong verb form
consists
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
olderly
Correct your spelling
elderly
older
people
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 brings some advantages. Commonly spread
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
 that youth can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
achieve more benefits by being
creativity
Replace the word
creative
show examples
however
Linking Words
 old
people
Use synonyms
 are .
This
Linking Words
 essay will
concider
Correct your spelling
consider
 on both
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 provide
Linking Words
last
Change the article
the last
show examples
 view. On the one hand, there are many facts
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 population have
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
positives
Change the noun form
positive
show examples
 ways
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 developing technologies and smart
algoritms
Correct your spelling
algorithms
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 they
poduce
Correct your spelling
produce
produced
 many tapes of digital
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
 and
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 of
importan
Correct your spelling
important
importance
 of
this
Linking Words
 is
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
artificial intelligence as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
 society
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 different opportunities to achieve aims.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
show examples
people
Use synonyms
least
Rephrase
are less
show examples
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 than
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 youth.
Different
Change preposition
In different
show examples
 world, they claim that old
people
Use synonyms
 cannot be able to bring any benefits
us
Change preposition
to us
show examples
.
For
Change preposition
To
show examples
 support
this
Linking Words
 opinion there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 many examples of countries which have disloyal policies toward pensioners. As
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they have
Correct article usage
a destractive
show examples
destractive
Correct your spelling
destructive
sestem
Correct your spelling
system
. In
conclusiun
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, to
summ
Correct your spelling
sum
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both viewpoints I would say that it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
thoo
Correct your spelling
three
 different ways to
discuss
Correct pronoun usage
discuss them
show examples
. I strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that young and old
people
Use synonyms
 can live together and in peace.
Submitted by 8453525 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay lacks clarity and proper organization. The arguments are not well developed and the examples are weak. Ensure that your essay clearly addresses the task and presents well-developed ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the coherence of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively. Your paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and the overall flow of ideas is confusing. Use transition words and logical connectors to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more appropriate and precise terms. Your essay contains many inaccuracies and lacks variety in vocabulary. Aim to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Work on improving your grammar and sentence structure to convey your ideas more clearly. There are numerous grammatical errors and awkward sentence constructions throughout the essay. Strive for more accurate and complex sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: