today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

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In
this
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day
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and age, most
people
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in society do not spend
time
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communicating with their neighbours in urban areas. There are two main factors which are caused by their busy lives and their concentration on themselves. We should control our timeline to have more
time
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for socializing with neighbours.
Firstly
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,
people
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earn money in order to improve their demand for living. Every
day
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, citizens go to
work
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due to
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their aim of high revenue.
For instance
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, in a nuclear family, parents usually
work
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nine-to-five to let their children have a great education.
This
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means they do not have enough
time
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to communicate with their neighbours. Another reason is
people
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prefer to relax after a working
day
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. To handle the hustle and bustle of living,
people
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spend most
time
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in the office.
This
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leads to the travel planning for the weekend so as to regain energy. Because of a tiring
day
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, citizens spend much
time
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just on their families and
work
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. To alleviate
with
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apply
show examples
this
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problem, the government should encourage local citizens to celebrate traditional events. Not only maintaining cultural values but
also
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helping them to get on well with the others.
People
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in the local communities participate in planning ceremonies together.
Moreover
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, the celebration can gather
people
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in one's home and have more
time
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for next-door families.
Besides
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, the children
also
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make friends and strike a friendship.
To sum up
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, it takes
people
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time
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to
work
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at the office they lack that to rest and socialize with other
people
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in their neighbourhood.
People
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should balance the timeline and join in cultural events to keep in touch with each other.
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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt, lacks clear comprehensive ideas, and needs to provide relevant and specific examples to support the points made.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the organization and linking of ideas could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The use of vocabulary and phrases needs improvement to enhance lexical resource; more varied and appropriate vocabulary should be used to convey meaning effectively.
grammatical range
The essay displays a range of simple and complex grammatical structures, but there are errors in sentence structure, agreement, and tense usage that need to be addressed.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
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