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today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbors #cities
In
this
day
 and age, most
people
 in society do not spend
time
 communicating with their neighbours in urban areas. There are two main factors which are caused by their busy lives and their concentration on themselves. We should control our timeline to have more
time
 for socializing with neighbours.
Firstly
,
people
 earn money in order to improve their demand for living. Every
day
, citizens go to
work
due to
 their aim of high revenue.
For instance
, in a nuclear family, parents usually
work
 nine-to-five to let their children have a great education.
This
 means they do not have enough
time
 to communicate with their neighbours. Another reason is
people
 prefer to relax after a working
day
. To handle the hustle and bustle of living,
people
 spend most
time
 in the office.
This
 leads to the travel planning for the weekend so as to regain energy. Because of a tiring
day
, citizens spend much
time
 just on their families and
work
. To alleviate
with
Change preposition
apply
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this
 problem, the government should encourage local citizens to celebrate traditional events. Not only maintaining cultural values but
also
 helping them to get on well with the others.
People
 in the local communities participate in planning ceremonies together.
Moreover
, the celebration can gather
people
 in one's home and have more
time
 for next-door families.
Besides
, the children
also
 make friends and strike a friendship.
To sum up
, it takes
people
time
 to
work
 at the office they lack that to rest and socialize with other
people
 in their neighbourhood.
People
 should balance the timeline and join in cultural events to keep in touch with each other.

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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt, lacks clear comprehensive ideas, and needs to provide relevant and specific examples to support the points made.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the organization and linking of ideas could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The use of vocabulary and phrases needs improvement to enhance lexical resource; more varied and appropriate vocabulary should be used to convey meaning effectively.
grammatical range
The essay displays a range of simple and complex grammatical structures, but there are errors in sentence structure, agreement, and tense usage that need to be addressed.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
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