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Band 6.5

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doubt #globalisation #world #people #business #nations #criticise #progress
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The positive effects of
globalization
 on society are undeniable.
Although
 it has united individuals in terms of business and national gains, there are still some who oppose the expansion of
globalization
's influence. I partly agree that these critics can set boundaries for
globalization
.
Globalization
 has linked many nations over the past decades. The remarkable development among many aspects is primarily obvious in businesses and cultural openness. Today, the trade of goods and services has never been more efficient
due to
 the united economic goal and partnership of each country. Cultural diversity is continually growing even in the most conservative nations
such
 as the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia.
This
 trend encourages more opportunities for
people
 to travel and immerse themselves in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different environments and traditions. International linkages have immense benefits to society as a whole,
however
, some
people
 are still hesitant to move forward and prefer to live with boundaries and limits. I believe that anti-
globalization
 groups can mitigate the progress of
globalization
 but not totally halt it. In my opinion, they
also
 serve a good purpose in
this
 unstoppable development.
For instance
, they are trying to protect and preserve the originality of some tribes residing in the African Jungle. They aim to maintain the origin and culture of the
people
 as there are only a few remaining untouched communities in the wild. In population migration,
globalization
 critics act as a buffer system to avoid overcrowding and abuse of workers in certain countries. Just like the current situation in Canada wherein a lot of migrants are coming into the country and
people
 are being poorly paid because of the influx of non-national workers. In conclusion,
globalization
 is truly beneficial to society as a whole and critics of global developments can never stop its worldwide progress.
Instead
, it can only slow the advancement to protect the culture and ensure the safety of the
people
.
Submitted by sheenasedeno on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph focused on one main idea. Make sure transitional phrases are used effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on the main points with clear, detailed examples that are directly related to the question prompt. Ensure that the opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural homogenization
  • multinational corporations
  • sustainable development
  • economic disparities
  • technological advancement
  • cultural exchange
  • scrutinize
  • ethics
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • protectionism
  • outsourcing
  • free market
  • trade liberalization
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