In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature, history), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics, mathematics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?
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There is a noticeable dissimilarity between girls and boys in choosing majors at universities. More boys participate in scientific majors,
while
more girls prefer art subjects. This
tendency is influenced by the unique biological functions of each gender and outdated societal prejudices. I firmly believe that society can benefit if more girls participate in scientific classes.
To begin
, the distinctive biological functions of each gender contribute to this
disparity. One significant factor is that women
are often advised to conceive before the age of 30, which can shorten and disrupt their scientific career paths. As a result
, women
may find their knowledge becomes outdated, and it is challenging to return to their positions after a long disruptive period due to
deterrents such
as childcare responsibilities, stagnation, and a perceived decrease in logical thinking ability. Consequently
, female scientists often struggle to compete with their male counterparts, who do not face such
disruptions in their careers. Additionally
, societal pressure from relatives can influence women
’s choice of majors, steering them towards stable jobs like accounting or reception work instead
of more demanding scientific fields.
Nevertheless
, there is a general consensus that these factors stifle world development to a lesser extent. The lack of female attendance in scientific classes has limited technical advancements because the perspectives of both genders are needed to generate innovative solutions. For instance
, the contributions of women
scientists like Marie Curie, who made groundbreaking discoveries in physics and chemistry, highlight the potential benefits of having more women
in science. Curie's discoveries of Polonium and Radium and her pioneering research in their applications, such
as the development of X-ray machines, have had profound impacts on medical diagnostics.
To conclude
, addressing and overcoming these detrimental prejudices can lead to a better world with more contributions from gifted women
in scientific fields.Submitted by lenam2k1 on
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task achievement
To enhance your essay, consider including more specific examples and data to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention statistical studies that illustrate the subject choices of boys and girls in various countries.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, you can improve coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs. Phrases such as 'moreover,' 'in addition,' and 'on the other hand' can be helpful to connect your ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
Your essay effectively covers the topic, providing a clear response to both parts of the prompt: reasons behind the gender disparity and whether it should be changed.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with well-organized paragraphs that each address a specific point. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, clearly stating the main points and summarizing your argument effectively.
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