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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society
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In today’s era, it is found that
people
Use synonyms
 have a
long
Correct word choice
longer
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 life than before. Some
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society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
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 think that older
people
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 will bring many problems to the
government
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. Yet, some believe that older
people
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 have significant positive impacts on
society
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. Speaking of that, I believe that elderly
people
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 will give many benefits to
society
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 rather than its drawbacks. Armed with the experience of the national history back
then
Linking Words
 in the past year, the
golden-ager
Fix the agreement mistake
golden-agers
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 could be the best teacher to pass their knowledge to the young generation. It will become a good way to preserve the national historical background in
this
Linking Words
 era because the interest in the historical past is now severely diminished. With the existence of elderly
people
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, I believe that they can increase the awareness of the historical background of the nation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, elderly
people
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 can help protect the culture, seeing how the modern era sharply developing. Regularly, older
people
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 are more likely to follow the customs and norms that have been patented in
society
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, which I believe should be maintained because it shows the identity of the
people
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. By keeping the culture exist, it will boost the understanding of young
people
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 in terms of how they represent the community. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 say that the older generation tends to create problems for the
government
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, it is not the only aspect to see. Having a lot of elderly
people
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 can help
to
Verb problem
apply
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preserve the nation’s history and culture, which are vital points for the
government
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, having elderly
people
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 will give benefits to the
government
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 as well.
Submitted by asyifannisakh on

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Task Response
Ensure a clear position on the topic throughout the essay
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to improve coherence and cohesion
Lexical Resource
Expand the use of advanced vocabulary and varied sentence structures
Grammatical Range
Work on accuracy of sentence structures and use of complex grammar

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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