Advertising has become part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that these days advertising has an important role in every individual’s life,
also
, some individuals have
this
belief that
this
role brought a
lot
of benefits to our lives. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
notion, because in the past few years, I have seen so many commercials that not only glued everyone to the screens but
also
made a
lot
of positive changes for
people
.
To begin
with, every company has a special way of representing their
products
to
people
, some of them will order a massive billboard on the highways, and others will create a small video and spend so much money on that. All of these things are
due to
the fact that there is just one certain way for them to make
people
buy their
products
and their inventions.
Furthermore
, I need to say that some of these commercials are so interesting and fascinating that they will draw attention.
For instance
, in 2023, when the Barbie movie was out, a big budget was considered for the advertisement of
this
movie,
moreover
, all of them were so innovative that
this
movie became the
most watched-movie
Correct your spelling
most-watched movie
show examples
of all time in the history of cinema. Another matter that needs to be discussed is, in these past few years,
this
area has been so beneficial for not only companies but
also
for all of us because,
firstly
, it has created a chance for entrepreneurs to introduce their
products
and their work to the world so that they can make a profit out of it, plus they have a source of revenue for themselves and for their employees.
Secondly
,
this
area was
also
a chance for creators to show how creative they are,
also
, it makes their work so popular among all
people
.
To sum up
, as I mentioned in
this
essay, In my opinion, today, advertising is doing an incredible and crucial job,
moreover
, it has a
lot
of pros for individuals’s lives.
Such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
helping them show their
products
to
people
, creating a
lot
of money for humans, and creating a chance for artists and creatures to shine in public.
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coherence cohesion
Continue to use clear paragraphing with coherent ideas in each paragraph as this helps in structuring your argument effectively.
task achievement
Try to ensure a balance between general assertions and specific examples. You've done well with examples, like the Barbie movie advertisement, but more generalized insights could help deepen the analysis.
language
Further proofreading could help refine your essay and avoid minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing, enhancing overall clarity.
task achievement
Effective use of examples to support your points, which significantly enhances the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that collectively strengthen the coherence of your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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