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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge or experience.

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As a means of fostering the intellectual
development
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 of their
children
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, a growing number of parents nowadays expend considerable sums of money purchasing an assortment of
toys
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 for their offspring. An official survey has indicated that
children
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's educational
toys
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 can facilitate cognitive
development
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, making them more effective and rapid. The ensuing paragraphs will examine the advantages and disadvantages of allowing
children
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 to have numerous
toys
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. Providing a plethora of
toys
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 to
children
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 can contribute to their psychological
development
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. The finest
toys
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 can engage their sensory and cognitive faculties, instigate their imaginations, and stimulate them to interact with their peers.
For instance
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, Lego blocks can facilitate preschoolers in developing letter, number, and linguistic proficiencies,
while
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 simultaneously honing their communication skills through socialising with other
children
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. Communication is undeniably a fundamental aspect of life, and
toys
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 provide
children
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 with playmates with whom they can amicably converse.
Finally
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, certain
toys
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,
such
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 as blocks, educational computer games, and puzzles, are specifically designed for educational purposes, which can elicit
children
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's creativity and help them identify their interests.
Nonetheless
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, as mentioned earlier, detractors of the argument contend that an excess of playthings can inculcate greed in
children
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. Frequently, parents indulge their
children
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 by purchasing every toy they desire, thereby inculcating in them an insatiable desire for more
toys
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.
Additionally
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,
toys
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 often entail significant expenditures and excessive indulgence in toy purchases is an extravagance.
Furthermore
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, an excess of
toys
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 may engender a conformist mentality in a child, who,
due to
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 their immaturity, may emulate other
children
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's playing styles, activities, and character traits
instead
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 of developing their unique personalities.
Lastly
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, if a child is granted every toy they demand, they may devalue most of the
toys
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, losing interest in them and craving novelty.
This
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 inclination to misuse the genuine need for
toys
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 by procuring excessive
toys
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 for
children
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 is an issue.
To conclude
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,
toys
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 play a crucial role in augmenting a child's growth, but an overabundance of
toys
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 can adversely affect their psychological
development
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.
Therefore
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, parents should judiciously lead their
children
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 and procure a rational number of suitable
toys
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically linked to the preceding one for better coherence.
task response
Provide specific examples for better illustration of ideas.
lexical resource
Work on using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
Make sure to vary sentence structures and use complex sentences for better grammatical range.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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